tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-117667742024-03-07T08:54:53.261-05:00Ye Oldde BloggeThe blog of a person....yeah that sounds good.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.comBlogger378125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-1172532248505163412019-01-25T05:34:00.000-05:002019-01-25T05:34:14.918-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFne-jt-_sjAGjkjYjomw88AX3TTJFsfuhu0CLanAQTmq_njU8L78w9wmZ30HJXLHBz4sOxS87hXkHV99KLTLWhqODH_r2UiVjv2Yz75-PPaLO-zSkcF5qltvw8cXB9_0FjieySA/s1600/toad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFne-jt-_sjAGjkjYjomw88AX3TTJFsfuhu0CLanAQTmq_njU8L78w9wmZ30HJXLHBz4sOxS87hXkHV99KLTLWhqODH_r2UiVjv2Yz75-PPaLO-zSkcF5qltvw8cXB9_0FjieySA/s320/toad.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-52940599005652068582017-05-05T11:43:00.001-05:002017-05-05T11:43:54.096-05:00Zaat" On the way to the lab, Rex encounters a snake swimming calmly through
the waters of the swamp. Deeming it unfit for existence, Rex takes hold
of the creature and, with strength only secondary to the gods
themselves, enacts his eternal judgement upon the reptile by flinging it
through the air to its doom. As the very matter of existence began to
tear from the sheer speed of the hapless invertebrate's trajectory, it
greatly and easily surpassed the flimsy laws of known physics to become
entangled with the fabric of space-time. As the snake bore witness to
the blurring of the past, present, and future, beholding all that was
and what will be in an instant, it found a sense of calm. Moments later,
but like an eternity to the snake, it began to rip apart at the
molecular level, leaving quantum ghosts of what once was matter along
its path. The speed was so great at this point that the snake's mass
became infinite, and when it collided with the water's surface,
disintegrating into nothingness, its electrons careening into other
dimensions, Rex smirked, knowing that God's law had been carried out."<br />
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ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-87770446053444113012017-01-01T22:57:00.000-05:002017-01-01T22:57:02.054-05:00Look at that! Isn't it ridiculous! Maybe it will leave if we all laugh at it!It's been a whole year since I last made a post on this dead-ass blog.<br />
For those wondering why I rarely post here, its because:<br />
<br />
A.) Google sabotaged blogger and made it into a pile of crap<br />
<br />
B.) I made a <a href="http://zekeyspaceylizard.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">tumblr blog</a> where I generally post my garbage nowadays<br />
<br />
C.) Little to talk about.<br />
<br />
I spent the first half of the year trying to get Decoupling into film festivals to no avail. Being a cartoon, being so short, and not having much in the way of plot meant that pretty much nobody wanted it.<br />
I had hoped it might drum up interest in my work, or the word of my friend Kevin who did the music for the short. But it didn't and I gave up.<br />
<br />
However not long afterwards my very good friend <a href="http://comickpro.deviantart.com/" target="_blank">CVG</a> got the film into a latin american art festival. It was shown in front of a large crowd of people on a big screen in a fancy theater. And that quickly turned a very sour year into a relatively pleasant one.<br />
<br />
After that I came to a realization that would probably be the highlight of my year and I needed to find a new way to be productive.<br />
I decided since I'd been sitting on my ZEKE idea for so long maybe it was time to bring it fruition. At least from a writing standpoint. So, I have been writing scripts. I've got about 25 scripts done now for comics.<br />
Very soon I will be hopefully starting it up and seeing how it goes.<br />
The story has come along very well and I'm quite pleased with the work I've done so far on it. I've also been finalizing character concept designs and such, something I've been meaning to do for a long time.<br />
<br />
And so I spent a fair bit of time doing that while making little <a href="http://zekeyspaceylizard.artstation.com/" target="_blank">bits of art</a> throughout the months including 1 commission I got to do involving Knights of Sidonia. Two highlights of this was a digital art piece I did of Lord Hater from Wander Over Yonder was favorited by Craig McCracken (creator of the show) himself on both Tumblr and Twitter. Very cool stuff.<br />
<br />
However the year didnt really kick off until about late September when I was contacted by Jake of Studio Yotta. I had already been considering contacting him and begging him for work when, by fortuitous coincidence, he came to me first. He told me he was working on a secret project and wanted to know if I could help.<br />
<br />
As a test he sent me a shot of animation to clean up. I immediately recognized the background art as something I was familiar with from a famous classic PC game of the 90's. I grew quite excited and soon became part of the group of artists working on this:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nARJJ9gc404?rel=0" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
And so for the last few months up until December began I have been doing work for DoubleFine under the Studio Yotta header as an animator for Full Throttle Remastered. It has made the 2nd half of 2016 one of the best years I've had in a long while. I am incredibly lucky this opportunity came along when it did, and very thankful Jake was kind enough to bring me on.<br />
<br />
Of course you'd know this already if you read my tumblr instead of this blog!<br />
Anyway that's all really.<br />
I spent New Year's Eve in the company of friends, eating tiny sausages, watching ghostbusters, and drinking cider.<br />
<br />
And now I'm going back to writing more comic scripts. Toodle-Oo!<br />
<br />
<br />ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-27387369443345810642016-01-06T04:31:00.000-05:002016-01-06T04:31:44.692-05:00You were not born with a watch.At least 2016 is off to a somewhat positive start! My new cartoon is finished!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/R6tGWzokGY0" width="380"></iframe><br />
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I started on Decoupling last year around late July early August. With the realization I was turning 30 soon and I wasn't getting any work I decided to start putting some of my wasted job-seeking efforts into making a new short film! I hadn't made a cartoon entirely of my own ideas since Swag Pie and even then, I had to make that about swag and/or pie somehow since it was based on a song Weebl had made.<br />
<br />
So I made 30 seconds of silly things coming out of other things and that was that. But sometime after it was done I sort of realized that it was perhaps.....TOO short. And since my animation PC was dying (rip 2007-2015) and Decoupling could very well be my last film, I wanted to make sure I made it as insane and high-quality as I was able to. So I animated more and more and eventually it became a whole minute long!<br />
<br />
For comparison here are other things that can happen in a minute:<br />
<br />
1.) Spreading butter onto some toast.<br />
2.) Scratching an itchy part on a butt.<br />
3.) Reciting a very short poem.<br />
<br />
Anyway after it was done, I wondered if I should try making or acquiring sound effects for it. And what of music? Do I just use some copyrighted music like I've used before? I eventually came to the idea of no. If this was to be the end, I wanted it to be an end where everything was homemade. No shortcuts.<br />
<br />
So, I went to the resident musician of Rtil's website known as the BackAlleys, a man who calls himself Shadowfox02, or Shads for short. He's been there longer than I have and has made music for a few independent projects. He has turned out stunning work (and stunningly fast) before so I asked him if he wanted to make music for the film. He eagerly (perhaps TOO eagerly) said yes!<br />
<br />
And now quite some time later, right as we hobble into the new year, the film is done. And while the animation of the cartoon probably isn't too impressive to some, it was the height of my abilities and my partnership I shared with my ToshibaM400 laptop tablet. In a way, this film is dedicated to it. It saw me through thick and thin and together created many things. And now it is gone. Goodbye you beautiful shitty piece of machinery.<br />
<br />
So here it is, the culmination of the efforts of a musician with bad luck, an artist with no future, and a recently deceased PC. And I personally think it came out pretty darn good, all things considered. It is a minute and a half I am very pleased with and proud of, and I cannot thank Shads enough for his work on the project and making something so damn good to go with the visuals.<br />
<br />
And as usual for those who still come to this blog, thank you for reading. I hope if you pondered when or if I'd ever make another animated short again, that now your strange thirst for content is slaked.<br />
<br />
_<br />
_<br />
_<br />
<br />
So what is the next step?<br />
Well step 2 is that I enter this little Decoupling ditty into any film festivals that are free. I hope that it brings some attention to my work and can give my career a kick in the pants it needs. But even if it doesn't, I'm just happy it's finished. I set out to do something, do it well, and it came out beyond my own expectations.<br />
<br />
And I can't really think of a better way to start off 2016. Can you?<br />
<br />Oh wait I can! BY WATCHING TWA-TWA-TWA-TWENTY SIX TEEN<br />
WHO KILL CAPTAIN ALEX<br />
TWA TWA TWA TWA<br />
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<br />ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-4514843009781593972016-01-02T07:29:00.000-05:002016-01-02T07:29:00.151-05:00I am no Borb.Well 2015 has come to an end. I won't lie it was pretty awful. Possibly the worst year I've spent on this earth. An unending series of failures and great losses in my life savings. Almost all the animators I know now no longer animate because theres no money in it. And what few I know who still do are either now too important to speak to a lowly dredge such as myself, or are miserable in the career paths they have chosen and wish to get out as quick as possible. And I'm going to be joining them soon.<br />
<br />
2015 ended with an interesting surprise. The creators of Studio Yotta and Newgrounds appear to be in some sort of cahoots. One of them recently contacted me, trying to offer me a deal so I can keep making animation. I don't like and certainly don't trust either of them anymore, which should be obvious to anyone who talks to me on a regular basis. That said, assuming I can't find work soon, I'm going to be unable to tell either of these two NO when the time comes to give them a definite answer.<br />
<br />
But it's just been a terrible year in general. The only freelance I've gotten in the last few months is because my friend Avid Lebon cares enough about me to pretend she needs me on some projects that she could easily do entirely herself. She is a lifesaver, in many ways. And Lord knows she needs the money as badly as I do. Sadly I've been having to animate with a mouse again, due to my animation laptop finally refusing to work the way it should. I've animated the last 2 films I've done for Weebl entirely with a mouse. It has been agonizing but I've managed. <br />
<br />
My father's pet parrot, an African Grey named Rosa, has fallen ill. With what I don't know for certain. One day she was fine, the next she was slumped over, and refused to use one of her legs for anything, preferring to stand perfectly still on one corner of her cage on only one foot. Rosa is older than I am. She is roughly 31 or 32 years of age, pretty old for a parrot. I've known her my entire life. To say her condition has been concerning me would be a vast understatement. This bird has been like a sibling to me. My father took her to the vet who claims that Rosa has arthritis. I find it odd that arthritis would suddenly pop up out of nowhere like this.<br />
<br />
Simultaneously, searching for parrot foot problems on the internet brings up some absolutely horrific tales of parrot violence, parrot death, and wrongful veterinarians. Including a lovely story about a poor young lady who was informed her pet cockatiel merely had some gout on his foot. Three days after this the bird keeled over, never to rise again. I won't lie, these stories have been bouncing around my head, adding even more to the oppressive atmosphere of thoughts as this year comes to a close.<br />
<br />
As this year hops into the shallow grave it belongs in, I have made in total roughly a sum of 1500 dollars. For an<i> entire year</i>. Most which has gone to paying loans and living expenses. Things are bad. Things have never been worse. I have applied at every place available to me both offline and online, desperately scraping for anything. My gmail address book has over 3000 entries that start with 'jobs@' on them. Nothing has turned up. Nothing has worked.<br />
<br />
Why I was even informed charging a mere 50 dollars for a completed piece of fully painted art was TOO MUCH. And I was told this by a professional large company that sell products all over the world in highbrow liquor stores. Meanwhile every time I walk into Walmart and I see that poster. That Minecraft poster I made for Notch and the rest of the Mojang crew. What a fool I was. That poster is sold in every Walmart in the USA. It has adorned shirts, walls, even several Xbox cases. I have never seen a dime of that. Which is fine, I got roughly 500 for it when I made it for Mojang, some 4 or so years ago. But I was a fool. I should have asked for a <i>percent.</i> I should have found a way to advertise my website on it. I should have done something, ANYTHING, to make sure when people look at that piece, they know who its from.<br />
<br />
But nobody does. Worst of all, after completing the piece the developers seemed to like it so much, they even said they'd get back to me, possibly wanting more pieces. And they never did. In fact instead they hired other artists to produce work in a similar vein to it.<br />
<br />
I am a stupid, stupid man. I have fucked up every opportunity to succeed I have been given. I have spent my entire career allowing people to take advantage of my brief moments of trust and optimism. And now I have nothing to show for it. A demo reel that has never convinced a soul to hire me, and a portfolio that has impressed no one. And truly no year has proven this with more compounded ability than that of 2015. For some time my checking account has -723 dollars in it. Yes that is negative. That is not accounting for the student loans I have yet to pay. That is what working hard earns you. That is what art college earns you. That is what animation earns you. Looks of scorn from bank employees and letters from the government. Waiting for holidays in the hopes of undoing the damage with gifts of money given by family members.<br />
<br />
2015, yes indeed, the year my luck finally ran out. The year that everything I built and worked for finally toppled over. There's a kind of majesty in the failure of it all. In the things I've had to do lately to wrench myself out of this debt.<br />
<br />
And now I start 2016, fresh and anew and ready to indulge in more horrors. Ready to give even more of my time to Newgrounds and Yotta, places that have more faces than a shapeshifter. Places that have removed me and are now here again, offering me things I want, long long after I needed those things. Long long after I already paid dearly for not having those things, those people, around when I needed them.<br />
<br />
The damage long done, now I sit wondering just how much worse can 2016 actually be? Can it be worse? I lost everything but my life in 2015. My passion, my savings, my equipment, and even my heroes are struggling to make it. People who should have the online world in the palm of their hands, struggling to make ends meet. This rickety boat made of time and work finally shuddering under the combined weight of failures and sinking into the turgid depths of 2015. How much deeper can this sea go? Outside of dying I don't think anything worse could really happen for 2016. But perhaps that opportunity will come regardless.<br />
<br />
Whatever fates or deities control this cosmos, if such things are real, are clearly not through yet. We have another year of hell to muscle through. Another year of apathy, poverty, murder and death that we as a proud nation can gleefully slough into as we continue to tell ourselves in hushed tones "things will get better. as long as i work hard and believe in myself, things will get better!" as our worlds collapse around us and we are forgotten by the very people we trust and put our faiths in and continue to spew false positive horseshit to ourselves so we can pretend to have something to look forward to.<br />
<br />
Left to rot until we're needed. Discarded until its convenient to be on beck and call again. Like toilet paper. And animation is the dribbling shit. And the internet is the pale butt. I'm ready to get wiping for 2016.<br />
<br />
You know I think it's possible there may still be some people out there who discover my work. Ones who aren't tracking bots anyway. And maybe a few of them have felt inspired by my work to join this industry and carve their own happy little niche, smugly hoping the world will appreciate it if they sweat and toil enough.<br />
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It won't. I am telling you this now. If you somehow happened across this blog, hoping to be inspired by a wretched internet animator, then hear me now and TAKE HEED. Get out of this business. There is no money to be made here. There is no future in this. A very small lucky few make it and the rest are trashed, and forgotten. Don't make my mistake. Don't think this will be a stepping stone to a brighter or better future eventually. That is a lie those with money will tell you to keep you making stuff and not being rewarded for it. You enter this world and chances are you are going to wind up just like me. Here forever until you finally work up the balls to end it and walk away and never return.<br />
<br />
There's nothing rewarding to be found here. There's nothing good. There's almost no good people and there's very nearly no good companies. Nobody needs you. Nobody wants you or your services. It does not matter what skill level you operate at. It does not matter what software you know. All that matters is that by some <i>astronomical</i> gamble you happened to be at the right place at the right time. Is that a bet you are willing to take? Is that a chance you really want to fuck around with? If so then yes, freelance art, animation, and graphic design on the internet will be perfect for you.<br />
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Enjoy it, chump. And have a very happy 2016.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-23201039313422198502015-10-30T10:07:00.001-05:002015-10-30T10:07:15.779-05:00worming their way into the black matter of my brainIt's all hollow's eve and the moon is bare.<br />
Walk through the cemetary if you dare.<br />
Where skeletons rot and corpses fester.<br />
Locate the tomb with the skull of a jester.<br />
Feed him a token.<br />
All shiny and new.<br />
It is then that Carnevil will return for you.<br />
<br />
- A long dead studio<br />
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Well I am here again for my favorite holiday.<br />
Since my last post I managed to fuck up a possible employment opportunity at a local shop that wanted me to design shirts, <i>and</i> I managed to fuck up a possible employment opportunity at Everi Gaming, a massive company that make all sorts of interactive software and casino games.<br />
<br />
I even managed to get a brief phone interview with the 2nd one. But as per usual I found some glorious way to shit it all into the toilet and I will probably never hear from them again. First studio that's actually contacted me back in at least a year.<br />
<br />
But hey at least I finished this Deadpool cartoon for Weebl and #Mashed. And I even finished it on the day it was due!<br />
I don't know when it's going online. So that's at least one small positive note from the grand concerto of deterioration that has become my life.<br />
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Now this blog post isnt just about my botched attempts at getting out of this great void of debt and misery I find myself in, no no. We had quite enough of that two posts ago.<br />
<br />
No readers, this is my favorite time of year. Halloween!<br />
Why? Because its monster-themed!<br />
And you don't have to spend money to buy gifts for people! You just run around in a costume and act like a jackass and sometimes get free candy! Can you imagine a more perfect holiday? That's a rhetorical question of course you cant. It does not exist.<br />
<br />
So in celebration of Halloween I'm going to talk about what I personally think is the perfect group of movies to truly horrify and sicken you this on this Hallowed Eve. Note: Some of these films are incredibly difficult to find. Don't feel discouraged, some of them I came across entirely by accident.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Guinea Pig</b> - There's a few of these films. Find the first one. Maybe the second one. The incredibly realistic and gruesome exploits of a serial killer who slowly cuts his victims apart, piece by piece. How bad is it? People thought the films were real and the government had to get involved. Not for those with weak stomachs. MANY people thought this was a legitimate snuff film. <br />
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<b>The Thing</b> - Carpenter's masterpiece ensemble about a bunch of workers in the frozen north who discover that a dog they took in is actually a grotesque shape-shifting alien in disguise. Inbetween the masterful puppetry and body horror, is an incredibly tense and brilliant story about people going stir crazy and paranoid as they are killed off one by one. This is one of those films that will never age because of just how damn good it is.<br />
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<b>Lake Mungo</b> - This relatively forgotten horror film is almost devoid of violence and entirely devoid of jump-scares or pop-out skeletons. Set up like a documentary, it chronicles a family grieving over the loss of their daughter and the scandals and hauntings that take place afterwards. It starts as a horror, becomes a mystery film, and then becomes a horror again. Every performance in the film is remarkable and it will leave you feeling cold and sad and afraid to go to Australia. If the bit with the cel phone doesn't make you near shit your pants, then you got a problem buddy.<br />
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<b>Sunshine</b> - So if you wake up one morning, and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it. Amazing film about a crew of astronauts on a mission to dump a chemical payload on the earth's sun which is currently dying out and freezing the planet. Along the way they find the ship that was sent to do the same job 6 years prior. And that's where things get terrifying. Truly an amazing scifi flick with a good dose of horror to give one the heebies and the jeebies.<br />
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<b>Nekromantik</b> - A man falls in love with a corpse. Enough said really. Find it and give it a go. Much like Guinea Pig this is not a film for those with weak stomachs.<br />
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<b>Perfect Blue</b> - A rare treat! An animated horror film! From the late genius Satoshi Kon, this film is about a famous music popstar in japan who turns to acting. Her first roles are gritty lewd things that depress her and make her start to lose fans and faith in herself. Then she discovers she's being watched and manipulated by a stalker. Everything starts to snowball from there.<br />
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<b>Cemetary Man / Dellamorte Dellamore </b>- A gravekeeper and his friend have the amusingly boring job of killing and re-burying all the zombies that rise from the grave in their little town every night. Eventually the gravekeeper's friend falls in love with the zombie of the recently deceased mayor's daughter. Then he keeps her head in a box. Things only get zanier from there. A horror film with a good dose of comedy and even a bit of bizarre eroticism.<br />
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<b>Alice</b> - Jan Svankmajer's insane live action / stop motion animation mixed media film. I'm not sure what to write here. Me and a friend rented this film once when were employed at Blockbuster Video. Like a lot of things Jan has made, it is rather horrifying and disturbing. A strange strange retelling of Alice in Wonderland.<br />
<br />
<b>Evil Dead</b> - The original and the very recent sequel/pseudo-remake are both excellent horror films with a nice dose of dark comedy to them that makes them very re-watchable. The newest one is also almost indescribably violent and action packed. Great for a halloween viewing. And hey, Bruce Campbell is gonna be in a tv show sequel to it soon too! I'm so sad Burn Notice is over.<br />
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<b>True Detective</b> - Not a movie, but a tv show. Season 1 of true detective mixes melancholy cynicism with a great dose of horror and fantastic storytelling. The redemption of Rust is one of those things you'll never forget. Manages to be very unnerving with just the atmosphere and direction. Season 2 focuses on different characters and mostly a depressing journey into a fictional California city. Season 1 is the one that will give you chills down your spine.<br />
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<b>Brazil</b> - What can be said about this film that others haven't already said? A fantastic dark comedy from brilliant madman genius god Terry "I Eat Money Literally" Gilliam. What starts as a somewhat funny but distressing comedy of errors in an overtly complex and grotesque future with superhero repairmen and bizarre machinery turns into horror and terror pretty quick once things fall apart. A masterpiece of filmmaking. If you enjoy this I highly recommend the Adventures of Baron Muncchausen.<br />
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<b>Suspect 0</b> - Aaron Eckhart and Ben Kingsley as psychic detectives who track down dangerous serial killers. Probably one of Kingsley's best and most underrated performances. A terrifying film from a one-hit-wonder director. Forgotten by the passage of time.<br />
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<b>Jacob's Ladder</b> - I've mentioned this film a few times and my love for it. It's terrifying, it's brilliant, it's a masterpiece. A man whose life keeps intersplicing from before and after the vietnam war, as strange demonic people try to kill him and his former war buddies. A film you won't ever forget. Also has odd cameos including Rage Cage from Tenacious D, Jason Alexander, and Lewis Black. What a cast! Probably the most insane climax of any horror film.<br />
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<b>Bone Tomahawk</b> - This movie literally just came out a few weeks ago. Kurt Russel stars as a sheriff in the old west who goes to rescue the wife of one of the townsfolk who has been kidnapped by savages. What starts as a tense western drama becomes a slow burn into horror as the natives begin to reveal themselves and show just how savage they truly are. Things escalate quickly. Another film not for the weak of stomach.<br />
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<b>The Babadook</b> - Alot of people recommend this film. And they are right to do so. A fun horror flick with just enough scary shit thats well filmed enough to make you feel spooked. Also co-stars the most annoying child ever filmed in the history of movies. When me and mike watched this film, the power went off during the climax of one of the scariest parts of the film. I have never been so quiet in my life.<br />
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<b>Stay</b> - a forgotten film from the early 2000's, this film stars Ewan McGregor as a psychiatrist who has to stop a young artist from comitting suicide. Because if this artist dies, reality will end. Things just get weirder and creepier from there. Probably one of the prettiest soundtracks a horror film has ever had.<br />
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<b>The Fly / Videodrome / Naked Lunch</b> - look I have nothing constructive to write here. Just see all of Cronenberg's films. If you don't you are a plebeian. The end.<br />
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<b>Coraline</b> - An animated horror film that manages to be incredibly frightening while remaining PG. A masterpiece by Neil Gaiman and Henry Selick. Perfect stop motion animation mixed with a harrowing story and unnerving visuals as the other world starts to fall apart.<br />
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<b>Fire In the Sky</b> - gave me nightmares as a child. gave me more nightmares as an adult. One of the few alien abduction films that is actually scary.<br />
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<b>The Orphanage</b> - A movie about a woman taking care of an orphanage that is haunted by the ghosts of the children that used to abide there. Then her son disappears. Manages to be incredibly disturbing without hardly any special effects or violence. <br />
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<b>The Tall Man</b> - I originally thought this was going to be a horror film based on Slenderman, a cool internet monster that was ruined by reddit, facebook, youtube, and 9gag into a joke little kids tell each other. As it turns out its nothing of the sort. It's about kidnappings and absolutely bonkers mclonkers mystery adventure stuff with a very heartbreaking ending that will leave you speechless and probably very conflicted.<br />
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And there you friggin' go, m8.<br />
A bevy of horror for your watching pleasure this Hallows Eve.<br />
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In far scarier news, those of you who have read this blog for a long time (all 0 of you!) might recall years ago when I discovered the top search term for my blog was the terms <b>OILY ASS.</b><br />
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Years later OILY ASS was replaced with Minecraft Hentai. Because apparently some 11 year olds actually ARE that sad and pathetic.<br />
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Well I decided to take a look again.<br />
I only got 73 views on this blog in the last month. If that isn't a fantastic visual indicator of how dead my career and future is I don't know what else could do the job.<br />
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But regardless, the most searched for term for people finding this blog this month is:<br />
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Yes folks you read that right.<br />
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Anime Dogs Sucking Their Own Dick.<br />
From slick anuses to cube smut I have officially hit rock bottom. Furries and self-fellatio. What a time to be alive.<br />
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In happier news, with the Deadpool cartoon in the can I was able to finish a new art piece. And it's probably not what you expect:<br />
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I reskinned a spaceship in a video game! Wow!!!!!<br />
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This was a hell of a lot of work and despite being popular, most likely wont get chosen to be in the game anyway because literally nothing I produce or touch anymore <i>does not end in catastrophic fucking failure! </i>That said I am very proud of how this ship came out. I'd had the idea in my head for a long time of making a koinobori themed skin, and waited for the day the developers did some sort of contest to make skins for it.<br />
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And it finally happened, I got to make it, and it came out almost exactly like how I envisioned it in my head! Not too shabby for an art project.<br />
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For those that really like it, and play Warframe, you can vote on this design here:<br />
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http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=543284877<br />
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So far it has 800 <b>negative</b> votes and only 700 <i>positive</i> votes!!<br />
Truly another good visual indicator of just how terrible everything I make anymore is.<br />
<br />ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-50010664088150320872015-09-29T06:15:00.002-05:002015-09-29T06:15:35.108-05:00One last midnight. Brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Mike was bored the other day and painted some little wooden hearts he found. <br />I liked them enough to take a photo.<br />
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Speaking of Mike, I designed a label for his Vape flavor company that he is slowly getting off the ground.<br />
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I spent money I dont have and went to the Curry Festival in St.Pete a few days ago.<br />
Took some photos while I was there.<br />
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My japanese friend sent me this Venomancer figurine from Ti5.<br />
In equally happy news Venomancer got buffed and might actually be objectively good now.<br />
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I saw this horrible dog at the mall.<br />
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I'm starting to receive music from my friend Shads for my short film "DECOUPLING".<br />
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So hooray for that.<br />
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<br />ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-16726831796709851242015-08-30T07:21:00.001-05:002015-08-30T07:21:10.718-05:0030 til 30.30 days until I'm 30 years old. My life has gone mostly nowhere in the last few years. I have a rather comically long list of studios I've tried to get into. Several hundred at least. Might be approaching the 1k mark. But no can do, I suppose. I am fully aware it's not their faults obviously. I don't blame them. The industry is jam packed with new artists and laid-off veterans all looking for the same jobs all looking for the same work. And nearly all of them are far more capable than I am.<br />
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I've spent about 2 years trying to learn Blender now. I spend more time going back and re-reading guides and references than actually getting anything made because I honestly can't remember how to do things in the software. It's marvelously obtuse and I feel like a fucking idiot every time I fumble around in it.<br />
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I bought a surface pro 2 a couple months ago with what little extra money I still have. Sadly it can't do the 1 thing I really hoped it'd be good for which is run <b>Flash CS3</b> decently. Flash runs like garbage on it and I'm still having to animate mostly on my ancient Toshiba M400 that I bought with Newgrounds prize money back in 2008. I don't mind animating on it but that tablet was already refurbished. I live in constant fear that it's going to just stop working one day and then I'll be truly fucked. Not that I'm not pretty fucked as it is. College loans from my shitty run at IADT still bleed me dry every month. Can't save up enough for a Cintiq, can't save up enough for a car. Much less an apartment.<br />
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I've even started asking around at video editing and theatrical places. Local ones in the ghetto. Seeing if they need someone who can just operate a camera or work with software packages. Compositing, green screen, anything. Nothing. And the one animation studio here that is close by is run entirely by two people and their site hasn't been updated since 2011. When I was a young teen I always thought <i>eventually</i> I'd be good enough to work at a real animation studio. Pixar, Disney, Blue Sky those sorts of places. I'd be happy just being a janitor at these sort of places. Sweeping up trash while watching the sorcerers make their magic. It was a rather laughable dream back then and I knew it. I knew I'd never have the skill to ever really get into a highbrow establishment. I'm a very slow learner. Only recently have my paintings gotten to a point where I can look at them and go "this doesn't look entirely shit. in fact its pretty ok.".<br />
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That's fine and all. I'm not the best. I'm not even good really. I'm astoundingly mediocre and that's better than quite a lot of people online. But that doesn't make the disappointment of how my career has turned out any less rancid. I can't even seem to find work at <i>CRAPPY</i> studios. You know the types. The ones whose reels look like a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YviYufXRw0g">Tim and Eric</a> sketch but it's not actually meant to be bad in an ironic funny kind of way.<br />
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Back in 2007 I was about ready to pretty much just quit. I was turning 22 and I hadn't managed to accomplish anything. The closest thing to an art job I had ever gotten was nearly getting into the now VERY dead Fatkat studios who closed due to legal issues and fraud. I figured if I hit 22 and didn't manage to get noticed I was just going to call it quits on the whole art thing. I would just stop. By some sort of miracle I got hired by <a href="http://www.weebls-stuff.com/">Weebl</a> mere days before I hit my 22nd birthday. And I was very happy to work for him because he was the only person who gave me a <b>chance.</b> A chance I would fuck up a multitude of times over the years. For the life of me, I do wonder how I've managed to keep that job. The amount of times I've screwed up a project and he's had to fix it are pretty numerous. The man has generosity in spades.<br />
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It's pretty much only due to him I really have anything at all. Freelance work comes few and far between when one is as mediocre as I. One can't live on occasional web work alone. Not without popularity to make those clicks and ads pay dividends. I knew I'd never be a Egoraptor or Happy Harry. I can't write funny things. I'm not really creative enough to be entertaining without being filled with hate. It's why my best <a href="http://dustbunnycomics.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Dustbunnies</a> comics are mostly just me finding ways of viciously mocking something terrible. But without anger I don't amount to much.<br />
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Eight years later and I look at the little clock on my computer. It's August 30th. I've spent the last month working on a <i>new Flash cartoon.</i> It's been a long time since I made a Flash cartoon comprised entirely of my own ideas for the sole purpose of being creative. It's not a <a href="https://vimeo.com/120065671" target="_blank">failed ad</a> for mayonnaise, or a film produced for <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBGSztbW7_4" target="_blank">someone else</a>. It's something "indie" for lack of a better word. Something based on a concept come up with entirely by <b>me.</b> And hopefully it's good. It's the first real burst of passion I've gotten for an idea in quite some time. I've put what's left of my heart and soul and joy into this little film. It's barely a minute long and it's not particularly original. I know there's films that have done similar concepts at much higher quality. But I don't really care. I love this film. And for all I know it may be my last film.<br />
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It's rare that I feel a need to produce things on my own that aren't paintings. <i>Animation is a lot of work.</i> Every frame is basically a painting. And many times I'd rather just open my surface pro 2, open Art Rage, and <a href="http://pseudogiant.deviantart.com/" target="_blank">paint</a> then animate something. It's why I've changed the sort of places I generally apply at from animation work to more design and painting jobs. Particularly since, and perhaps I'm wrong in this opinion, my paintings look much nicer than my cartoons. It's why for this new cartoon I've tried very hard to make it look at least somewhat as nice as a painting. Which is hard since Flash doesn't animate with bitmaps very well.<br />
<br />
I think what few people who visit this blog will read this and suppose this whole speech is to feel sorry for myself.<i> But it's not.</i> Everything that's gone wrong with my life, and continues to go wrong, is a direct result of my own limitations and poor talents and poor decisions. I have nobody to blame but myself. And as I turn 30 years old this year and look at my comically bad resume and <a href="https://vimeo.com/123787287" target="_blank">demo reel</a>, I know that this is pretty much the best of it. <i>This is the best my life will probably ever be.</i> I haven't made a lot of money off a big project in a long time, and now that I can't find even crappy freelance work, I never will. Everything from here is mostly a downhill slide. And as I sit here looking at this almost finished cartoon I can't help but wonder if maybe I was wrong 8 years ago to change my mind. Maybe I was wrong to keep chugging along with this art thing and work for Weebl. He deserves better than me. Far better.<br />
<br />
There's an alternate universe somewhere out there, beyond the void past the stars. In this universe I dropped the whole art thing at 22. I went to a normal community college, not an art college, and I got an actual degree for minimal cost, a normal white collar job, probably putting together <i>.pdf</i> files for some office here in florida. In this alternate universe I have a car, and an apartment. I have a social life, and maybe even a girlfriend. I get up every morning, feeling content. I don't make a lot of money in this alternate universe, but what I do make is consistent and reliable and I'm not competing with thousands of others online for it. In this alternate universe, Gerkinman and Weebl and Studio Yotta and College Humor and everyone else I've worked for continue to exist. But instead of me being there, taking up space and time and fucking up constantly, theres people there of real talent. Maybe Yotam Perel or Felix Cosgrave work for these kind people now, and now they have far better success and far more clients.<br />
<br />
It's a nice alternate universe where everyone feels useful. It's an alternate universe where I can look in my father's eyes and not feel like the massive disappointment I've become. Where he can retire because his rich son isn't locked in a spare room, trying desperately to salvage some sort of mangled art-related career.<br />
<br />
<br />
What I'd give to trade places with that Nathan, even for a day.<br />
<br />
Anyway, enough moaning about my shortcomings, the important thing you should take from all this is that <i><b>I've been busy.</b></i> I know it's been quite a few months since I last posted in this blog, and for that I apologize. And I also apologize that the first post in months is this incredibly negative sounding diatribe about how much I hate myself. I'm sure what few readers I have were hoping for something a bit more positive or uplifting, and in that sense I do have some things to deliver.<br />
<br />
For starters one of the reasons my postings have been minimal is that I started up a Tumblr.<br />
<a href="http://zekeyspaceylizard.tumblr.com/"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">ZEKEYSPACEYLIZARD.TUMBLR.COM</span></b></a><br />
<br />
This is where you can find me uploading garbage pretty frequently. Be it random bits of fanart, paintings, animated gifs I've made and other such things. I've been using it for maybe 2-3 months now and I quite like it. It's simple and isn't a bloated mess like blogspot has become. THANKS GOOGLE.<br />
<br />
That doesn't mean I will be abandoning this blog however. This blog is pretty handy as a place for me to whine like a big fat god damn baby about my shitty life. Can't really do that on tumblr without looking like one of the weird sjw's there. No thanks to that!<br />
<br />
I also totally <b>REDID MY WEBSITE!!!</b><br />
<b><a href="http://weirdurl.com/"><span style="font-size: x-large;">WEIRDURL.COM</span></a><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></b><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I completely retooled it from the ground up. This year when I made my new demo reel and resume (<i>which have both been colossal failures!</i>) I decided it was time to redo my site as well. I don't understand actionscript very well so sadly the website doesn't really work on tablets or smartphones. And frankly I don't have the money to pay a programmer to fix all that so if the site doesn't work well NUTS TO YOU BUDDY.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"> I also have been <b>PAINTING. ALOT. </b>Like a shit-ton. Now that I have my surface pro 2 (the first really good thing I've bought in a very very VERY long time), I've fallen in love with it. It's shitty as hell for animation but oh my god is it good for digital painting.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">My work has had a noticable boost in quality now that I'm not struggling with every single stroke!</span><br />
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Look at that! I made that! Can you believe it? I can't!<br />
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<a href="http://img12.deviantart.net/da13/i/2015/199/4/4/little_lost_lobster_by_pseudogiant-d91s5j6.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://img12.deviantart.net/da13/i/2015/199/4/4/little_lost_lobster_by_pseudogiant-d91s5j6.png" height="320" width="182" /></a></div>
Paintings are finally starting to look like how I envisioned them in my head instead of looking like steaming walrus turds!<br />
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Getting this tablet was pretty much the best thing to happen to me in a long long time. I can make LARGE paintings with lots of detail. I can finally use custom photoshop brushes! I was not able to do that before!<br />
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<a href="http://img09.deviantart.net/b3da/i/2015/080/1/5/techies_by_pseudogiant-d8miqk1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://img09.deviantart.net/b3da/i/2015/080/1/5/techies_by_pseudogiant-d8miqk1.png" height="177" width="320" /></a></div>
I could not have produced things like this previously on the old Toshiba M400.<br />
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Not that the old Toshiba was a bad pc. I still use it even today. Hell I spent 6 hours animating in it yesterday. I still need that thing for doing traditional animation. I wish I didn't but I'm stuck with it until I can get a Cintiq.<br />
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They make an 800 dollar Cintiq now. That's the one I want. It's why I've been on the warpath the last few months. Applying to dozens of studios a day. If I could get just one decent real paycheck I could finally get one of these. As a quick note: CINTIQ's used to cost 3000 fucking dollars. Let that sink in. You can see why I'm excited theres cheap ones now.<br />
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See right now I'm writing this from my very powerful desktop computer. You may wonder why not just get a cheap Wacom. I had a wacom. I won it like a decade ago. I couldn't get used to it no matter how hard I tried. The whole hand-eye-not-looking-at-the-screen thing hurts my head. My brain is not good at mastering it. So eventually I gave up and gave the tablet to my friend Bug.<br />
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That's why i was so excited initially to get the Toshiba. I knew it was the answer to my woes. And still is. But that thing runs hot when I animate with it. Pretty sure I could fry an egg on it. I need something to hook up to this desktop that performs the same function.<br />
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<br />
Anyway there's the first real blog post in ages.<br />
The cartoon I'm producing is called <u><b><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">DECOUPLING</span></b></u> and I've posted quite a few pics from it on my tumblr. It should be done very soon.<br />
<b> </b>And now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to work on it. ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-55977161546793763842015-04-11T23:02:00.001-05:002015-04-11T23:02:14.899-05:00Wow look a pie-chart! Digital Style!Virtually real! But controlled by real you!<br />
<br />
Okay so I've been a BUSY MAN.<br />
<br />
Not alot to talk about so lets just start with the good stuff.<br />
For starters I have a new <u><i><b>DEMO REEL</b></i></u> OUT.<br />
Yes that's right. My 5 year old demo reel is now Defunct. Decrepit. Despondent. Dead.<br />
It shall never be mentioned again, so help me god.<br />
HERE IT IS!!!!!!!! <br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YpQ72TXQJ2M" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
It makes it look like I know what I'm doing!<br />
Fun Fact: Sony Vegas could NOT edit or render these clips for reasons unknown. Meaning I had to learn an entirely new piece of software. Adobe Premier. <br />And wow Premier is so much better than Vegas I feel like an idiot that I never used it before.<br />
I've been like a caveman banging rocks together using the pile of crap that is Sony Vegas. Never again, Sony. Never again.<br />
<br />
And now with this new reel out I can send it off to various studios and whatnot and pray they have standards low enough to give me a chance. (they dont!)<br />
<br />
BUT WAIT THERE'S <i><b>MORE!</b></i><br />
<br />
I completely redesigned my website:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://weirdurl.com/"><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">HTTP://WEIRDURL.COM</span></b></span></a><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Yes!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Go check it out!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">It's been entirely redesigned from the ground up!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">And you may be thinking "but zekey, you never do any actual work! why would you redesign an entire website from the ground up?"</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Well you see curious onlooker, I somehow, in my infinite omniscience, managed to lose the .FLA flash file that had my original website in it. I'm not quite sure HOW considering I never ever ever delete anything. But it happened.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Meaning when my new Demo Reel went up, I was unable to change the link on the site to the NEW demo reel! AINT THAT JUST THE FUNNIEST THING? >:C >:C <span style="color: #660000;"><b>>:C</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">So yeah I had to make a whole new site. Didn't wanna but I did.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> And I decided that as long as I'm doing it, I might as well make it a REAL site this time with several pages and buttons and sounds and interactive crap.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">So there you go!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I hope the 6-20 google bots that read this blog enjoy those!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">And I hope the small handful of dumbasses on the internet who apparently wind up on this blog when they search for<i> 'minecraft hentai' </i>enjoy those links as well. I'm sure they are far more interesting than a creeper with a poorly drawn vagina stuck onto it!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Speaking of videogames, Killing Floor 2 was giving out keys.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">And despite being one of my favorite games I have failed to attain a key. My friend Bug did but because he uses a 32 bit operating system, the game doesn't run. So the key was wasted!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">I drew a fleshpound in mspaint and sent it to the developers at Tripwire Interactive, hoping they would send me a key back if I begged! IT DIDN'T WORK!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">So yeah that happened. Everyone is playing but me. Can't even play the new sequel to my 2nd most favorite game. :C</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And finally one last interesting thing that happened.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The other night me, Mike, and his ladyfriend Rachel were all sitting around about to watch Captain America when she goes into the kitchen to get a donut. Suddenly with the kind of agility usually reserved for people with the last name Baryshnikov, she flees from the kitchen screaming bloody murder and breaking down in hysterics. She cries there is a massive spider in the kitchen that leaped out of the donut box at her.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Which is no stretch of the imagination. Anyone who lives in Florida knows this place is swarming with absolutely massive insects. Wasps the size of your thumb, grasshoppers the size of your aunt, spiders the size of your cat. So me and Mike creep our way into the kitchen, peeking around corners and in drawers and in the sink etc. We start pulling everything out of the kitchen. We can't find shit. We both assume it's a Wolf Spider because wolf spiders in Florida get pretty big. They are like little tarantulas.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Well I start advising Mike to spray bug spray in all the cracks between drawers and furnishings in the kitchen, assuming the spider was a wolf spider that easily snuck into a crevice somewhere. As I do this, I get down on my hands and knees to take a look under the dishwasher.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And that's when I see it.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> It's a motherfuckin' HUNTSMAN SPIDER.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I thought these things only lived in Australia. Or the Congo. Or Carcosa.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">NOPE. Apparently they live in Florida too! HOORAY! As if we don't have enough horrific shit here! So anyway I hold completely still looking at this massive lobster-sized arachnid abomination and call for Mike to bring me my shoe. For those who don't know me, I wear size 16 shoes. My feet don't play around, and neither do my goddamn boots.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I spray the bastard with wasp spray but that only makes it enraged.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">It unleashes a squeal, like a baby piglet being stabbed, and makes a sloppy dash across the kitchen, soaking in chemicals. With the kind of hatred I normally only reserve for myself, I struck it with my footwear, it took several CLOMPS to defeat it, and even then all it lost were two legs. It was like trying to smash a sack of marbles.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">After that I stared at it, fascinated by how horrible and pretty it was. Then flushed it down the toilet.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And that was that.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">The End!</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">If you are a fan of my work (all 3 of you out there) please link people to my new site! I'm very pleased with it!</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">And now that my story has been told, I'm off to do other things!</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></span>ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-54159522970936209132015-03-24T21:43:00.002-05:002015-03-24T21:43:45.905-05:00Cheese, hats, boxes... they don't make you who you are. You make you.<a href="http://img09.deviantart.net/b3da/i/2015/080/1/5/techies_by_pseudogiant-d8miqk1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>Streets of Cage is out.<br />
This is a project given to me by Weebl and #Mashed some weeks ago. It was quite complex to make, but the end result makes it well worth it.<br />
<br />
I drew and animated very nearly everything in this short, with the exception of the city backdrop in the intro and the Cagea logo. The rest is all me. It was probably the biggest Flash project I've done in a very long time!<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RqmQe-3KLpQ" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
Weebl did the music and sound effects, while Brock Baker did Nick's voice. Weebl also did the neat pixellation effect that pervades the film's visuals. <br />
<br />
The film has been on youtube for a bit over a week and in that time I've actually been pretty busy making a new painting.<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://pseudogiant.deviantart.com/art/TECHIES-521555185" target="_blank">Here's a proper hotlink to the piece on Deviantart so you can see it full sized.</a><br />
<br />
Back in last September my friend Bug drew the Goblin Techies from Dota. I loved his sketch and asked if it was alright if I painted it. I got some base colors down but then I got busy with quite a few various projects, some of which panned out and some of which never went anywhere.<br />
But regardless once Streets of Cage was done, I was ready to relax with something more my speed.<br />
It's been a few months since I made a big painting.<br />
So I vowed to finish this Techies thing.<br />
<br />
My friend <a href="http://avidlebon.deviantart.com/" target="_blank">Avid</a> said after it was done that I should make an animated .gif showing my process on how I got from original sketch to the finished piece. And I might still make the .gif, but in the meantime I took it quite a step further.<br />
<br />
I made a video detailing how this piece came to be.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rNHAl1XOGsY" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
The three little birds that appear briefly in that video are actually extras from Streets of Cage.<br />
Originally in Streets of Cage instead of drinking an energy drink, Nick was snorting cocaine. But apparently that is now allowed to be shown due to some sort of censorship standards of some such.<br />
So to censor it we originally tried covering the cocaine up with something cute and harmless. So I made some baby birds. And from that point it looked like Nick was snorting baby birds.<br />
<br />
But that still didn't meet the standards of censorship so we swapped all the coke for energy drink.<br />
I didn't want the baby birds to go to waste so I made a quick dumb short with them.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/z_CaLsf_1x0" width="380"></iframe><br />
I'll probably do more dumb things with these birds.<br />
<br />
So now with Streets of Cage finished I can finally worry about something I've been meaning to worry about for a long time.<br />
<br />
And that is making a new demo reel.<br />
My demo reel is very nearly 5 years old. It's horribly out of date and is missing alot of footage from alot of projects that need to be in it.<br />
- Various weebl and bob episodes<br />
- Cabury Cream Egg ad clips<br />
- Hellmann's Mayo ad clips<br />
- Various Catface eps<br />
- Streets of Cage<br />
- Bearshark for College Humor<br />
- Smash with Egoraptor and Starbomb<br />
- Pokemon with Rubber Ross<br />
- Swag Pie for Huha<br />
- Rocketman for Huha<br />
- Robot Fight for Huha<br />
- Chips and Peas for Weebl<br />
- Benedict Cumberbatch for Weebl<br />
- Trains for History Channel<br />
- Shiny Minecraft Tale stuff with Willva<br />
- Yorkshire Inception for Weebl<br />
- Like a Brother for Gotye/TheBasics <br />
- plus clips from old cartoons like Created and Polypeptide<br />
<br />
Gotta find the best bits and mash them up into 2 minutes of reely goodness.<br />
The nice thing is that I've gotten quite a bit done in the last 5 years.<br />
My last reel is mostly clips of personal cartoons (many of which have aged like milk) mixed with a tiny bit of Weebl and Bob. This new reel should be quite spectacular.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-53247493653560663472015-03-09T15:41:00.000-05:002015-03-09T15:41:31.875-05:00Won't someone tell me just how weird a weirdo's supposed to be?It's been a while hasn't it?<br />
Last post was before Christmas so I suppose I should start there. You'll wanna stay tuned in for this post because theres a cartoon at the end of it! Yes that's right. A whole new cartoon! Yeah I know it's shocking! And I didn't even get any dosh for it! And it has mayonnaise in it! Wow!<br />
<br />
So for Christmas my brother managed to find a dvd of Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings. He also found a DVD of the original Ninja Scroll. My dad gave me some cash (something I desperately needed). I got my brother a wifi stereo system that is portable and looks like a cassette player so he can watch movies off his smartphone. I got my dad one of these babies:<br />
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It was the first time in a long time he'd actually wanted something specific for a holiday. So I was more than glad to grab it. It sat under the tree for a couple weeks since we still had a huge mess. But we popped it open and gave it a shot.<br />
<br />
And lemme tell ya. For something that was about 200 bucks this thing is WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD. I don't understand how it works. But it heats up the special frying pan and ANY stainless steel cookware in seconds with full temperature control.<br />
<br />
We've been making eggs on it. It has been years since I've been able to cook and enjoy an egg. But I've had more eggs in the last few weeks then I've had since I was a teen. And there's no mess to clean. The nonstick copper-looking pan thing it comes with is actually nonstick. You just spray water at it and all the food residue flies right off.<br />
<br />
TECHNOLOGY!<br />
<br />
Cockatoo. Kangaroo. In Malibu!<br />
<br />
In mid January I was contacted by some ad agency I'd never heard of to make an advert for a brand of mayonnaise. It was Hellmann's which is a very popular brand here in the south. It's also by far my favorite brand and me and my family go through quite a bit of it.<br />
<br />
I later learned that it was a contest and I'd be competing against a few people. So I brainstormed for a while and tried to come up with something happy and joyful, since that's how this condiment makes my stomach feel. (it's good shit!). So I made a animated short and tried to keep it within the same themes that they'd already been using for the promotional images for the new squeeze bottle.<br />
<br />
Quite a few entries (over 100) appeared. Very few were animated and most were bad. But there were a few brilliant genius ones. Particularly one that featured a somewhat crappy mayonnaise themed superhero who fights an equally crappy mayonnaise themed supervillain.<br />
<br />
At the end of the contest's run, none of the ones I liked won. None of the ones I liked even got honorable mention. And I of course, did not either. It was quite a devastating blow. It's rare I feel inspiration to animate anything of my own accord anymore. And rarer still where I finish something and actually feel confident about it.<br />
<br />
It's been a very depressing last few weeks. But on the plus side, I retained all rights to the animated short and I already put it up on my youtube channel for others to see. I also stuck it up on my <a href="https://vimeo.com/zsl" target="_blank">Vimeo</a> channel as well.<br />
<br />
Here it is:<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/DLAPELpkGp8" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
After that fiasco ended, my boss <a href="http://www.weebls-stuff.com/" target="_blank">Weebl</a> contacted me about a job. It's a cartoon about Nicholas Cage that should be online soon. I can't say too much about it outside that I've worked harder on it then anything else I've made I think. It's going to premier on the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/mashed" target="_blank">Mashed</a> channel sometime in the future.<br />
Here's some imagery from it before it's converted into pixel art.<br />
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If it's not entirely obvious the film is meant to look like the old Sega Genesis game, STREETS OF RAGE.<br />
<br />
<br />
Speaking of video games I recently grabbed a game I've had my eye on for quite some time. The new Legend of Zelda game. And no I don't mean the Majora's Mask remake. I mean Link Between Worlds which is an all-new title that takes place in the same world as Link to the Past and has charming stylized graphics and a nostalgic birds-eye viewpoint for the camera.<br />
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It's been loads of fun so far and I haven't enjoyed a Zelda game this much since Wind Waker or the first half of the Minish Cap.<br />
<br />
I have nothing much else of interest here to write.<br />
A few months ago I posted about a newish painting I had made.<br />
So I figured I'd post the WIP's of the painting to show the process I used to produce it.<br />
It's a process I rather like now, actually and I will probably use for any future paintings.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF_4Sd4ptT0kQs-peDaqD0M0UyDfCzEQtvTbLZg5t_1BCgtguDT0zLKLv9QOyia-h9OhoH4KgIrlJj9WvwCKRqFjmyzljCTWtrJGBTUL2wuWy0Cfd3jzQpgZ2OEBQwtbu97mtVuQ/s1600/dotesclr.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF_4Sd4ptT0kQs-peDaqD0M0UyDfCzEQtvTbLZg5t_1BCgtguDT0zLKLv9QOyia-h9OhoH4KgIrlJj9WvwCKRqFjmyzljCTWtrJGBTUL2wuWy0Cfd3jzQpgZ2OEBQwtbu97mtVuQ/s1600/dotesclr.png" height="177" width="320" /></a></div>
So to start off over the original sketch I did the linework. I blocked in some basic shades of grey. Then I did some light shading. Some of the greys were tinted more towards certain colors to help with any color corrections I might need to do later.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3AvXvb_8TdzdhATlerLPQ19z_e5dUQGR2vsgZN2WCe05Vfu061gC5d0gOsRp81XWrWIJOa1Gxb4alyqGZ76gPMk1xPbbZOSFypDLpEBurLAoHDAjLC-nIinEKsC7F4fEyx4pmfQ/s1600/dotesclrbeta.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3AvXvb_8TdzdhATlerLPQ19z_e5dUQGR2vsgZN2WCe05Vfu061gC5d0gOsRp81XWrWIJOa1Gxb4alyqGZ76gPMk1xPbbZOSFypDLpEBurLAoHDAjLC-nIinEKsC7F4fEyx4pmfQ/s1600/dotesclrbeta.png" height="177" width="320" /></a></div>
Here's the original linework for comparison. Much plainer compared to the image above it. After that it was time to add some colors.<br />
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Chunk by chunk bit by bit adding in blobs and block of color and some sparse details and lighting here and there. Starting to look almost like a painting now.<br />
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Particle effects, brightening up of certain shades, properly shading some bits and areas. Lots of layers. Lots of editing of colors and color schemes. And after doing that for every bit of the environment and for every character, we arrive at the <a href="http://pseudogiant.deviantart.com/art/A-Shallow-Sleep-465530251" target="_blank">finished product</a>.<br />
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For whatever reason the bottom of it gets cut off on this blog but if you've been to this blog over the last few months you already know what this thing looks like. So there you go, a weird kinda glimpse thing at the process I used to make this piece. My process changes a bit every time I bother making something like this. It's a LOT of work and it's not often I feel the energy to complete something of this magnitude.<br />
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And now I'm gonna play some Zelda.<br />
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<br />ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-51595053494253418832014-12-19T04:06:00.001-05:002014-12-19T04:06:30.758-05:00WIPING YER BUM WITH A HOOK FOR A HAND IS REALLY HARD!So Merry Christmas FALALALALLAA DECK THE HALLS WITH SNOWS OF HOLLY FALALALA COLD STUFF SANTA.<br />
<br />
It's that time of year again.<br />
<br />
Time where one kicks off ones sandals and puts on boots.<br />
Boots of warmth.<br />
<br />
Anyway I don't have much to say cause I have been a VERY BUSY BEE since the last post.<br />
So I'm just gonna toss a bunch of stuff in a haphazardly way and you can go through it at your own leisure.<br />
<br />
Okay for starters I did some cleanup animation on the new Starbomb music video from Egoraptor and his pals. Studio Yotta (who I also work for) were in charge of all the visuals. It came out pretty sweet.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/And-vdjC71E" width="380"></iframe><br />
Specifically I cleaned up and did some inbetweens for the show where Donkey Kong punches Wario in the face.<br />
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<br />
After working on that, I was put in charge of making a new Catface episode for Christmas.<br />
I got to use alot of very old assets from past episodes in this one.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/y8AvnVYGrNc" width="380"></iframe><br />
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And finally, I finished compiling footage of the crazy overgrown backyard of the abandoned house that I live next to. That place was quite a creepy jungle. Then winter came and it somehow got even creepier.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/YQS3DX8ot7Y" width="380"></iframe><br />
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I also did a christmas border for the /v/ board on 8chan. My good friend, who is a moderator there, asked me to do it, and it is currently up. If you've never been to an imageboard, as a forewarning they are usually not safe to browse at work. But then again neither is this blog. Why are you here and not working? You lazy asshole. You are going to get fired. <br />
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_________________________________________________________________<br />
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<br />
So that's what I've been up to.<br />
<br />
Next orders of business:<br />
<br />
Finishing a collaborative painting with a friend of mine.<br />
Reviving <a href="http://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/mapping-and-modding/resource-packs/1225153-zekocraft-16-px-updated-january-19th-1-7" target="_blank">Zekocraft</a> which has missed at least 1 major update now and is horribly horribly out of date.<br />
Updating Dustbunnies. <br />
<br />
And now I must wee.<br />
So long, farewell.<br />
<br />
<br />ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-70779144130129122792014-11-20T01:31:00.000-05:002014-11-20T01:31:00.265-05:00Lips that shame the red red rose.So for the last few years Disney has been trying this new thing where they make live action fairytales. All of which, so far, are based vaguely on animated films they made in the 50's. Those films of course were based on old folklore and fairytales from long before the 50's. So in a sense these films are adaptations of an adaptation.<br />
<br />
And much like that happens when you proceed to keep remaking something and having a new person in charge each time, the end product tends to be all over the place. In movies, sometimes you can have, too many cooks.<br />
<br />
Thus far the films that have been made have been Tim Burton's Alice, and Oz the Great and Powerful. I could rant for hours how both of those films are beyond fucking shit and how disappointed I was in both (especially Oz which broke my fuckin' heart m8) but I won't. Just know, they are why I had very VERY low expectations for the film I watched tonight.<br />
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<a href="http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140419102200/disney/images/a/a4/Maleficent-(2014)-149.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140419102200/disney/images/a/a4/Maleficent-(2014)-149.jpg" height="320" width="224" /></a></div>
MALEFICENT starring the fantastic Angelina Jolie.<br />
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When the original trailer for the film came out I was pretty impressed. Chances are you saw the original trailer at some point. It was everywhere. It was a gorgeous trailer. Dark, violent, and beautiful much like the film. And with a haunting rendition of "Once Upon a Dream" from Sleeping Beauty performed by Lana Del Rey, who is pretty goddamn fantastic on her own.<br />
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The idea behind the movie was that it was the TRUE STORY behind Sleeping Beauty and that Maleficent herself was actually misunderstood from the insane evil sorceress she was in the original animated film. Which is all well and good but in the back of my mind, dancing like Chernobog's minions around the Bald Mountain itself, were memories and reminders of just how bad Alice and Oz were.<br />
<br />
So.<br />
<br />I finally saw the film, many months after it was released.<br />
And it's ok.<br />
Which considering I'm comparing it to Oz and Alice is pretty damn high praise.<br />
<br />It reminded me a bit of Kingdom of Heaven, Bridge to Terabithia, Clash of the Titans, and all these other expensive but mediocre fantasy action films that have been getting dunked out year after year. But obviously its not quite as bad as those.<br />
<br />
In fact the film is relatively OK.<br />
I'd give it a firm 7/10 at best.<br />
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What hurts is that this film came very close to actually being great.<br />
<br />
In fact I think Maleficent might have had some of the most potential I've seen in a fantasy flick from big budget Hollywood in some time.<br />
But tons of little issues build up over the course of the film that drag it into the mud and prevent it from being truly great.<br />
<br />
And because I like to complain I will list them now and hopefully how they could have been better.<br />
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<br />
- The film begins with the narrator letting us know that there are 2 Kingdoms. One Kingdom is humans and its run by a greedy King. The other is The Moors and its nothing but fairy creatures. Apparently there was a war between these two Kingdoms. My question is: HOW?<br />
<br />
- The fairy Kingdom is full of tiny harmless monsters. Water sprites, itty bitty pixies, and little toad and mushroom people who are clearly not fighters. Theres some big tree warriors but they only show up briefly and take out a small contingent of soldiers. So how was there ever a war? And for that matter how was there ever a STALEMATE between a Kingdom of heavily armed horsemen armed with polearms and swords, and a jungle full of innocent childlike pixie people who seem to lack any real self defense?<br />
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- Maleficent is a fairy. She meets a boy named Stephan. She mentions her parents are dead. But how? Did they die in the war? Were there other fairies? Did the other fairies die to the King? These are the sort of things the audience needs to know in order to for there to be character progression. There's no explanation at any point in the film why Maleficent is the ONLY FAIRY LEFT.<br />
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- Stephan is Maleficent's friend. Their relationship grows into a romance. The film vaguely tries to make it seem like Stephan is poor as a child. But this isn't explained at length. Later on we see that Stephan as an adult is a noble who works for the King so....what?<br />
<br />
- Stephan seems like a nice guy until the King is dying. The King wants Maleficen't cool wings. So what does Stephan do? He chops them off after drugging Maleficent. Why? Why did this character go from nice person into disturbingly violent weirdo in a heartbeat? Why does he want to be King? He's in love with the QUEEN OF FAIRIES in a land that doesn't know poverty or strife. Why would he want to be King in the shitty land he was born in? And why would he cut off his best friend's APPENDAGES in order to be King?<br />
<br />
- Also where is the logic? Stephan knows Maleficent is powerful. She kicks the ass of plenty of the King's men. Why would you EVER provoke a fairy queen who could easily beat the shit out of you with magic?<br />
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- Maleficent wakes up and sees her wings have been chopped off. She mourns for about one day. And then....<br />
<br />
- She's evil! Yay? She just went evil like instantly. And what does she do with her new evil view on life? She....goes to the new King Stephan...and instead of getting revenge on him as he stands in front of her completely defenseless she.....curses his newborn baby. Why? He's right there. <br />
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- How did Stephan get a wife? Why does the wife have no purpose in the film? She appears in ONE scene and then dies offscreen. What a waste.<br />
<br />
- Maleficent saves a crow. Cool now she has a crow buddy. She had a crow buddy in the original animated film too. Neat! Oh wait....she...turned the crow buddy into a man. Well...ok then.<br />
<br />
- Crow buddy adds nothing to the film. He isn't Maleficent's conscious, he doesn't dispense advice, he doesn't have witty one-liners or funny dialogue. He isn't wise or interesting in any way. He also doesn't end up as her friend or boyfriend or anything. He literally just takes up space and screentime.<br />
<br />
- Maleficent at one point turns crow buddy into a wolf to spook some armed knights. A troop of about 20 knights proceed to piss themselves over one single wolf. Why?<br />
<br />
- In the original film Maleficent had no idea where Aurora was for 16 years. In this film Maleficent watches over Aurora as she is cared for by the 3 good pixies in the forest for 16 years. Somehow despite never directly interfering with Aurora, the girl notices and thinks Maleficent is her fairy godmother.<br />
<br />
- The three pixies add nothing to the film at all. I think they were only there to entertain kids who liked them in the original film. Problem is, in the original film they have a purpose and save the day and drive the narrative forward and are fun to watch. Here they are dumbasses and comic relief and take up valuable screentime that could have been spent on Maleficent and Aurora's growing friendship.<br />
<br />
- Prince Phillip is in the film for all of maybe 1 minute. He does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And the story quickly becomes all about him for no reason afterwards. His kiss isn't even the one that wakes Aurora. So he serves absolutely no purpose in the narrative and just wastes more time.<br />
<br />
- Stephan turns into a crazy man. The less said about that, the better. But his transformation seems to make little sense and somehow despite treating his kingdom like shit for 16 years, he is never overthrown.<br />
<br />
- Maleficent's wings are actually still alive. They are rotting in a glass box for more than a decade but actually fly out of the box at the end and attach to her back. Meaning AT ANY POINT Stephan could simply have given them back to Maleficent. There was 0 reason to keep them.<br />
<br />
- Crow buddy becomes a dragon specifically for the sake of having a battle scene that invokes memories of the original dragon Maleficent turns into in the original film. While being very cool, it accomplishes nothing.<br />
<br />
- Despite being a medievel film, Crow buddy dresses like a modern male. He wears black jeans, leather boots, a black trenchcoat, and a black open-chested tshirt underneath. He looks horribly out of place in every scene and looks like he's a few bad dates from tipping his fedora and uttering "m'lady" at every chance he gets.<br />
<br />
- After Maleficent loses her wings one of the first things she does to recover is try to learn to walk. And rather than simply finding a long stick to prop herself up with, she takes an ordinary stick and turns it into a giant badass sorcerer stave. Which is cool to see but a pretty dumb obtuse way of explaining WHY she has the stick in the first place. Especially when we can see she's very capable of using magic without it. I hate to use the word fanservice when talking about a fucking walking cane but there it is.<br />
<br />
- Aurora finds out she is cursed and instead of staying safe at home away from spinning wheels (which she knows now will kill her) she instead flees IMMEDIATELY to the Kingdom of Stephan, a place she has never been that she knows probably has spinning wheels in it. STUPID. DUMB.<br />
<br />
- Stephan locks her in her room immediately so she is not near any wheels. Almost instantly one of the maids opens the other door and Aurora runs out and pricks her finger in what might be the dumbest series of events leading up to a finger injury ever in the history of film.<br />
<br />
- Aurora is pricked by the spinning wheel and falls asleep. She is asleep for only a few hours before being woken up. She claims she earned the nickname SLEEPING BEAUTY from this. How? How does being asleep a few hours entail a legendary nickname? If I go to bed in this Kingdom and wake up will I be known as Sleeping Fatty? <br />
<br />
- The cgi is really bad. You know how every year a movie is made of a beloved children's novel to try and catch the same fire of Harry Potter? And you know how every year when these movies get made they have really soft blurry cgi that looks out of place? Well that's every single special effect in Maleficent. It looks pretty bad. Like Ang Lee Hulk bad.<br />
<br />
- The film is narrated by an adult Aurora. Somehow as an adult Aurora knows of the war between Kingdoms and all the other crap that happened before she was born in minute detail.<br />
<br />
- In the final fight scene Maleficent is wearing her cool black cloak. Then a tiny net right out of Kung Pow: Enter the Fist lands on her. Then it gets yanked off by Stephan. Somehow in the midst of this the cloak vanishes. From this point onward, much like Crow Buddy, Maleficent is wearing weirdly modern clothing including tight leather slacks that look like something a female spy would wear. I can't imagine why this was done. To show off Jolie's legs maybe? I don't know. But it's weird and dumb and makes her look out of place as much as Crow Buddy.<br />
<br />
- Stephan tries to tackle Maleficent after she has wings and tumbles off a tower to his death. Yes it sounds and looks as stupid as you imagine it does. <br />
<br />
- The beautiful Lana Del Rey song from the trailer doesn't play at any point in the film. It plays during the credits.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>AND DESPITE ALL THIS ITS STILL A 7/10 PRETTY ALRIGHT FILM. </b></span><br />
<br />
<br />Yeah.<br />
Let that sink in.<br />
Despite ALL those complaints it's still a movie that is somewhat worth watching. It's just interesting enough and just action-packed enough and just BARELY imaginative enough to make it a good popcorn film worth your time if you are bored.<br />
All those flaws and it's STILL ok.<br />
That's what I meant at the beginning of this post when I said the film had potential. Because the good parts of the film ARE SO GOOD they almost make up for all the BAD parts. Which is pretty fucking rare with big budget Hollywood films these days. And for that alone I have to give Maleficent light applause for being enough fun where I can look PAST all those flaws and still enjoy the film for mediocre magical adventure it is.<br />
<br />
And again it's a shame those flaws exist because if they didn't this film would have (and should have) been spectacular.<br />
Oh well.<br />
<br />
7/10 for Maleficent.<br />
Compared to:<br />
<br />
Tim Burton's Alice which I would give a 4/10 and Oz the Great and Powerful which gets a -6/10 because that film is literal garbage.<br />
<br />
<br />Hopefully the new live-action Cinderella is better than these 3.<br />
Here's a raccoon:<br />
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I'M OUT.<br />
PEACE.<br />
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-73103567842274432632014-08-24T18:50:00.002-05:002014-08-24T18:50:53.942-05:00I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps!My last blog post was a gigantic rant about a movie I absolutely hated. Today's post will talk about some recent movies I like! And a couple I didn't.<br />
<br />
I'll start with the good ones.<br />
<br />
<br />
The first is a film called We Are What We Are.<br />
When you look this movie up you may be keen to notice theres two recent films with this title. The one I've seen is the remake. Remakes tend to be very poor compared to the original source material, but We Are What We Are was so darn good I'm actually pretty eager to see the original.<br />
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The movie is about a family in Pennsylvania dealing with grief. During a rainstorm their mother, who is clearly very sick, starts coughing up blood. She panics, hits her dead, and drowns in a ditch, leaving behind her stoic and quiet husband, two teenage daughters, and very young son. It's evident from the start of the film that the family is very traditional and rides on old-tyme religion. But we only ever get to see glimpses of it. Odd sayings, odd proverbs, and little hints that let us know they aren't your typical family.<br />
<br />
The town coroner and local doctor named Barrow investigates the mother's body and over the course of the film slowly realizes she was suffering from a disease that only people who practice cannibalism can get. Around the same time his pet dog finds a human bone in the forest, near a river that runs down past the grieving family's home. Over the course of the flick the doctor realizes what we, the viewers, have already been seeing. Which is that this family are part of some age-old cult that kill people, bless their dead body, then prepare them for consumption. The two teenage daughters hate it, but being raised to do it they agree to help the father one last time before they attempt to run away. But things quickly GET REALLY OUT OF CONTROL.<br />
<br />
The film is not particularly violent but it builds tension nicely. Especially with the father who is a very quiet but constantly glowering man who seems filled with a constant silent rage at those around him. Occasionally its revealed in short loud outbursts but we don't see the true extent of it until the movie's final act when SHIT GETS CRAY-CRAY.<br />
<br />
Probably one of my favorite bits in the film is when the father is having some conversation with the friendly next-door neighbor and he quotes an odd piece of scripture.<br />
The neighbor asks, "Is that in the bible?"<br />
<br />
And the father, without batting an eye just mumbles, "It's in mine."<br />
<br />
Which references the old pilgrim journal about cannibalism that the family use as their holy book.<br />
We Are What We Are is a pretty nice little horror film that manages to be creepy through tension and not through violence or jump scares.<br />
<br />
It's not the best film I've ever seen but compared to a lot of the crap we get these days it might as well be made of pure gold.<br />
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The next film is Europa Report.<br />
This is a scifi film that me and my buddy Mike discovered by accident while searching through the "horror" section of the moviephone website. We don't use moviephone because we aren't neanderthals but sometimes it's nice to have an organized list of garbage to look at so you can scroll down and select the ones that interest you.<br />
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Europa report is one of those hard-scifi sort of horror flicks. There's not a whole lot of those, sadly. In literature there's tons and tons of amazing hard-scifi books and stories that would make your hair stand on end. But in the movie industry its a pretty untapped genre with very few titles. Luckily what few titles there are, are mostly fantastic.<br />
<br />
Europa, while not fantastic, is good enough to sit with the rest.<br />
<br />
Oddly when I first looked this movie up all I saw were people bitching about some monster in the movie which seemed to be at the end or towards the end of the film. It's particularly strange now that I've watched the film I can't really see why these complaints about it exist.<br />
<br />
For starters Europa Report is NOT a monster movie. It's a movie about a group of astronauts who have been floating through deep space for months and months and months to get to the moon of Europa so they can drill under it's surface (where there is liquid running water) and see what life they can find. Along the way they lose a crew member in an accident who is played by the guy who was Vickus in District 9. He gets some chemicals on his astronaut suit while trying to fix something outside the ship and has no way of cleaning it off before his friend runs out of oxygen. So he helps his friend get back into the ship and he himself floats off into deep space to slowly suffocate.<br />
<br />
Doomed forever to have his body float through the cosmos from the rest of time. Shit like that disturbs me. Anyway, as they approach Europa they start having radioactivity hit the ship and fuck with it's magnets and devices which causes it to land rather clumsily on the surface. They drill under the ice, find some bacteria and are happy. But one by one the astronauts start breaking through the ice and getting pulled deep into the subterranean ocean. Shit falls apart and eventually there's only one astronaut left. The ship sinks into the sea and we see that the radioactive thing that's been pulling people in is a big ol black tentacle monster. Sort of like an octopus but also covered in little lights much like the fish we have here that live deep deep deep in the sea where the sun can't reach.<br />
<br />
Apparently this was REALLY hard for people to believe. I'm not sure why. It's a planet in the darkness, with giant pitch black oceans. Were people not expecting the monster to look aquatic? In a world where there's no predators on the surface would it not make sense that some sort of intelligent multilegged cephalopod or arthropod would be the apex predator?<br />
<br />
Anyway, decent film. It's filmed in a pseudo-documentary sort of style which is popular these days. The only problems with the film really are the parts not focusing on the astronauts which are short snippets and interviews with the NASA scientists who funded and orchestrated the mission. None of their performances are believable and their grief over the dead astronauts is almost comical just because the performances are so bad.<br />
<br />
But BESIDES that, it's a pretty decent scifi flick with some DAMN good cgi in a lot of parts.<br />
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My favorite of all the flicks I've seen recently was The Signal.<br />
I'm not even sure where to start with this.<br />
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The signal is one of those movies where you watch it expecting it to be some sort of artsty fartsy type of film with loaded symbolism and obvious metaphors cause the way its shot and made really make it seem very....hipstery. Like a college student film.<br />
<br />
That said, it's so much fucking fun to watch you won't give a shit about any of that.<br />
The movie is about 3 nerds driving across the country to beat the crap out of a hacker who has been bothering them for a long time. They find his house and break in, only to be promptly abducted by aliens in what might be the scariest and shortest abduction sequence I've ever seen in a movie.<br />
<br />
From there we get to see these 3 kept in a laboratory somewhere in the desert and watched over by Laurence Fishburn who plays a scientist kept in charge of them. He's very vague about his motives but he explains the reason for his vagueness is because he really has no idea what happened to these 3 nerds. He wears a very thick spacesuit (as do all the staff) when he's near the kids cause he doesn't know whats wrong with them. Could they have alien viruses? Could they BE aliens? He doesnt know and even though these ideas are terrifying, Fishburn is very calm and nearly mockingly friendly with the victims of this abduction. And for the most part, despite a few attempts to escape the lab everything is going swimmingly.<br />
<br />
Then the kids realize they have weird new superpowers.<br />
And then they realize they aren't actually on earth.<br />
Then shit goes bonkers. REAL FUCKIN BONKERS.<br />
<br />
The movie is absolutely ridiculous and while it seems it might take itself seriously, the concepts are so outlandish and the soundtrack is so deliriously happy electronic music, the movie just feels like the filmmakers had as much fun as they could. The film even ends with watching a spaceship descend into some crazy alien world with gorgeous CGI and some party music playing with the bass pumped up so hard you wanna get up and dance, even though the context of the scene itself is fucking horrifying.<br />
<br />
Amusing, silly, frightening, scary, and overall just pretty stylish.<br />
The Signal was good.<br />
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JUG FACE.<br />
Watched this one last night.<br />
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What a ride. Similar sort of setting and theme with We Are What We Are; a bunch of very rustic old-timey-wimey folk living out in a very forested very rural area with some sort of cult.<br />
<br />
With Jug Face the cult worships a thing called The Pit. The Pit is exactly what it sounds like. It's a big-ass hole in the ground about 7 feet deep full of mud and blood. The villagers are afraid of it but also respect it. One of the villagers is a man with some sort of learning disability but he is also the prophet. Every now and then his eyes go white and he falls into a stupor. In his stupor he takes some pottery clay and makes a jug. The jug also has the face of one of the villagers. Whoever that villager is upon the jug now will be the next sacrifice for the Pit.<br />
<br />
What proceeds is a ritual where the person then has their throat cut open (one of those things I always get squeamish at no matter how fake it is) and their blood then pours into the Pit, apparently satisfying it.<br />
<br />
The main character of the film, a young girl named Ada who has sexual relations with her brother, learns that she is the next person to be sacrificed to the Pit. She also learns she is pregnant with her brother's baby. So when the jug comes out of the kiln she quickly hides it away.<br />
<br />
Well, this makes the Pit REALLY goddamn angry and it starts killing people.<br />
<br />
You expect at some point in the film it's going to be proven the Pit is false or a hallucination or that maybe its real and the villagers will revolt against it since they are tired of losing loved ones to it. None of this happens. In fact, the film is resolved when Ada finally realizes (after being caught) that she HAS to die to the pit or its going to keep killing people, and she is sacrificed to it. And everyones lives return to normal and jug face's keep getting produced by the local retard priest guy.<br />
<br />
Pretty neat film.<br />
Certainly a very original concept and all the performances in the film are very good.<br />
Plus it has Larry Fessenden in it, a really good actor who made one of my favorite horror films from a few years ago The Last Winter with Ron Perlman.<br />
<br />
I highly recommend all of these.<br />
<br />
<br />
I also saw two piles of absolute twaddle which I would only say to watch if you lose a bet.<br />
<br />
1.) Last Days on Mars<br />
This movie manages to have stupider astronauts than the ones in Prometheus. The amount of IDIOTIC decisions these people make is absolutely amazing. They are all so incompetent at their jobs it is absolutely remarkable. I've never seen a movie get so dumb so fast. I was watching it and thinking to myself "man why did so many people hate this? its ok so far..." and then this guy appeared.<br />
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<br />
And astronaut zombie man proceeds to not only kill several people despite not possessing any strength or otherworldly traits, he also knows how to drive a car, use power tools, and even set up remote explosives, all while being a zombie created by underground rock fungus. I'm not making this up it is actually that wild and dumb.<br />
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Crappy movie #2, which was actually a huge disappointment as I was expecting WAY more out of it was The Devil's Pass.<br />
<br />I grabbed this movie because it was about the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyatlov_Pass_incident" target="_blank">Dyatlov Pass Incident</a> which is one of my most favorite real-life scary stories ever. Sadly the movie is about as scary as the fart I'm holding in writing this.<br />
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I was really looking forward to this. Silly me!<br />
So instead of being a cool story about a group of documentary filmmakers exploring the Dyatlov Pass mystery and becoming involved in the supernatural terror surrounding it, this is a movie about a bunch of douchebags.<br />
<br />
Everyone in this movie is a douchebag. Every character is one of THOSE types. The ones who get drunk EVERY friday, go to a nice college completely off their parents money, have no practical knowledge, call each other Bro all the time, and who play games like Black Ops 2 and think its a masterpiece. Every character in the film is one of these types. They are all assholes and almost like caricatures of horrible americans. They possess every possible stereotype of awful american people and you will not emphasize with any of them.<br />
<br />
They proceed to travel to Russia, unprepared, act like idiots, get drunk, meet a guy named Sergei (because Vlad and Ivan were too stereotypical) and then run off to the mountain. Through their own incompetence they managed to nearly all die in the snow and about 1 hour and 45 minutes into the film they get trapped in some underground military bunker. The film pick up here considerably with some good special effects, decent monsters, and gorgeous cinematography but sadly by the time this happens its too little too late and you will HATE the movie and everyone in it so much you'll be ROOTING FOR THE MONSTERS to KILL THEM.<br />
<br />
I could honestly write an I, Frankenstein length rant about how this movie fucks up its own story, its dumb leaps in logic, and how it manages to shit on both the Dyatlov Pass and the Philadelphia Experiment all in the course of two hours but I won't.<br />
<br />
I will simply say it is a pile of shit and not even worth grabbing from the 99 cent bargain bin at Walmart that it is destined to travel to.<br />
I hope everyone involved in the production of this film gets bitten by a spider on their genitals.<br />
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In happier news a new Aphex Twin album is coming out.<br />
YOU BET YOUR ASS I'M EXCITED.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-35230522799128196612014-07-10T00:35:00.000-05:002014-07-10T00:35:32.364-05:00We shall mock the earthquake. We shall command the thunders, and penetrate into the very womb of impervious nature herself.As a foreword I'd like the say I watch alot of shit. And I don't mean slang for 'I watch alot of everything'. I mean I watch alot of garbage and trash. I see films like 'The Room' before they get broadcast and become cult classics. I have a dvd collection full of tasteless trash. Hell Comes to Frogtown, the sequels, Little Lost Sea Serpent, Baby Ghost, and other crap. Me and my buddy Mike watch stuff like this often and frequently.<br />
<br />
Why? Because its fun to laugh at. It's amusing to watch poor filmmaking, and to imagine what catastrophic controversies occured behind the scenes to allow terrible films like Van Helsing, Reptilicus, and Harpies to even occur. For the most part, I rarely talk about these films because I just don't have the passion to find them THAT interesting to discuss. It's only when a film is particularly awful that I feel the need to rant, like I did a few years ago for Adrian Brody's awful "SPLICE" movie from 2009.<br />
<br />
Plenty of awful shit has come out since Splice. Battle for Los Angeles, the Paranormal Activity sequels, and james cameron's Avatar come to mind. But none of these films made me quite as upset as the film I'll be discussing tonight. Because I can usually find something good to say about any movie, no matter how garbage or smutty it may be. But not tonight. Not for this.<br />
<br />
Not for.....<br />
<br />
<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">I, FRANKENSTEIN</span></b></div>
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<br />
To start us off, since you haven't seen the film (like most people because it flopped very hard) here's the trailer:<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/pxOSPfUw3qw" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
You may notice it stars quite a few actors and actresses you've seen in other films. Respectable ones even. Considering how bad this movie's effects were, its pretty much a guarantee the production budget for the film went into paying the actors as their is no way any actor could read the script for this film and go 'this is good. i want to be in this.' so to get around that little speedbump, money talks.<br />
<br />
So let's get right down to what's wrong with the film.<br />
<br />
<b>1.) A SECRET WAR BETWEEN GARGOYLES AND DEMONS</b><br />
<br />
Any movie, novel, or comic that has the idea of a "secret war" is always doomed to be stupid in some form. Because the 'war' part of 'secret war' is very literal. There's always some large obvious brightly-colored disaster going on somewhere in these types of ideas. And the very notion that somehow human beings would never notice stuff like this happening for decades-or-hundreds-of-years is stupid.<br />
<br />
You know why this worked in BLADE with Wesley Snipes? Because the 'secret war' was never a war. It was always a series of small skirmishes in the dark back alleys and warehouses of the city. No explosions, no massive monsters smashing through the town that everyone can see. It was all localized.<br />
<br />
This doesn't work when it's not localized. In I, Frankenstein literally everything the Gargoyles and/or Demons do is loud, fiery, full of explosions, and often results in the destruction of a building that anyone can see for miles around. And somehow humans don't know about this? BULL. SHIT.<br />
<br />
At least Men in Black had a good reason for people not knowing about the obvious events occuring around them with their memory wiping devices. I, Frankenstein is too smugly up its own butt to even try to have an explanation for that crap.<br />
<br />
<b>2.) GARGOYLES? DEMONS?</b><br />
<br />
This movie is about how demons (sent by Satan) are on the earth. They don't actually do anything bad during the entire course of the film, I should add. We're told they're the antagonists at the start, but none of them actually do anything evil. The closest we get is a demon killing a police cop who tries to shoot him.<br />
<br />
The demons are fighting Gargoyles. Yes, Gargoyles. Not angels, not some other heavenly being. Gargoyles, as in, man-made statues. Gargoyles, as in the human-carved spouts for water gutters that often adorn old churches and castles. Yes, THOSE gargoyles. Only now the Gargoyles carry ornate axes, gauntlet knives, katanas, and every other dumb weapon 13-year-old boys think is cool. The Gargoyles also transform into a group of very pretty afro-asiatic men in cloaks and armor. There's no reason for them to transform into this.<br />
<br />
But that doesn't matter. What matters is that FRANKENSTEINS MONSTER is fighting GARGOYLES and DEMONS working for GOD and SATAN.<br />
<br />
It's like someone made a roulette wheel and marked every slat with a mythical or legendary monster and tried to make a plot out of it.<br />
<br />
<i>"okay in this movie...uh lemme spin the wheel.....werewolves...and....minotaurs....are at war with.....banshees and they need the help of uh....lemme spin the wheel again.....they need the help of......changelings....to fight the....leprechaun empire."</i><br />
<br />
And so <i>I, Wee Folk</i> was born.<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>3.) Dumb Practical Effects</b><br />
<br />
I love practical effects. I love puppetry. It's why I'm excited for the new Abrahms star wars flicks. But one of the key reasons almost no scifi or fantasy movies use props or makeup effects anymore is because too often in modern times where nobody has any creativity, it ends up looking WORSE than cgi.<br />
<br />
The demons in I, Frankenstein are as generic as possible.They are literally just human actors with a few dozen pounds of food coloring and polymers mashed onto their faces. With all the advances we've had in modern practical effects, one would think the filmmakers of today could make something REALLY COOL and unique with modern non-digital effects. APPARENTLY NOT.<br />
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One of these pieces of media cost over 65 million dollars to produce. One of these pieces of media is also less than a decade old. CAN YOU GUESS WHICH ONE??!?!? One of these pieces of media also flopped really hard. Again, can you guess which one?<br /><br />
<b>4.) Even dumber CGI</b><br />
<br />
As mentioned before the good guys in the film are the Gargoyles. They're also CGI, like many things in the film. And like every special-effects vehicle costing 60+ million dollars, the cgi looks worse than movies that are almost 20 years old now.<br />
<br />
Gargoyles are statues. They were made to help irrigate water and also to scare evil spirits away from cathedrals and such. They also came in lots of different styles and designs depending on what the sculptor at the time thought would look best.<br />
<br />Chances are you've seen a gargoyle a few times in your life.<br />
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They can be pretty cool.<br />
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And sometimes really otherworldly and spooky.<br />
In modern day times, people still make and design gargoyles. And theres quite alot of very cool and unique designs out there.<br />
<br />
You would think this would give the producers of I, Frankenstein a conceptual boner. Wanting to make the coolest monster they could, with lots of variations of it.<br />
<br />
NAH.<br />
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Every single Gargoyle in the movie looks like this. Every. Single. One. I hate when a monster in a movie gets copy+pasted a billion times to make an "army". It looked like shit with the anubis in the MUMMY movies from years ago. It looks like shit now. It looks even worse when the monster they copy and paste looks crap right off that bat. Yes that's a picture from the movie. Yes the cgi looks that bad. Yes you will see dozens of that gargoyle flapping and slapping into poorly cgi'd demons running across rooftops.<br />
<br />
They couldn't even go through the trouble of maybe making the Gargoyles different shades of grey. They are all the EXACT SAME COPY AND PASTED MODEL WITH THE SAME TEXTURES. Because FUCK phenotypes and FUCK morphology. FUCK trying to make a movie look good.<br />
<br />
On a final note about this awful Gargoyle, they all make snarling cat sounds. The sound editors for I, Frankenstein literally just downloaded some generic cat-growls and bear-growls sounds off the internet and used them because free public domain sounds. You will hear noises coming from these monsters that you've heard in other movies, videogames, and other monster movies.<br />
<br />
Because that makes sense, right? A monster made of chiseled rock would make the same noise as a panther or a grizzly bear yeah? That's not stupid, correct?<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>5.) Him, Frankenstein</b><br />
<br />
The movie starts almost similarly to the ending of the original Mary Shelley novel, Frankenstein. Victor Frankenstein chases the monster he made out of sewn-together corpses into the frigid north. He ends up dying. In the book he dies on a ship, here he dies on a snowy mountain, his monster finds him and buries him.<br />
<br />
In the book, Frankenstein's Monster is decribed as being a wretch. A corpse that walks. Thin, lanky, gaunt. Like a mummy. Thin. This is what makes the monsters obscene strength so frightening. The monster was never meant to LOOK strong or muscular or powerful. He was meant to be terrifying to behold. Scary to even GLANCE briefly at.<br />
<br />
When Karloff played the monster in the original film, he was a big guy. (for you). But Boris was always a pretty strapping man. He had to remove medical parts from his own mouth to try to look more gaunt. But it didn't really help as, more than 80 years later, people still think of Frankenstein's monster as a large muscular square-headed monstrosity.<br />
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This design stuck, for better or for worse, this design stuck. From the Munsters up to Hotel Transylvania, this has become the iconic design for....Frankenstein.<br />
Not Frankenstein's Monster....FRANKENSTEIN.<br />
<br />
Alot of people (people who have not read the book) believe the name of the monster is Frankenstein. But it's not. The monster had no name.<br />
<br />
In I, FRANKENSTEIN, the queen of the Gargoyles named the monster Adam. The monster does not give a shit, mutters some one-liners and proceeds on his merry adventure of violence.<br />
<br />
When Adam starts meeting the villains of the film, they start referring to him as Adam as well. Which makes no sense because his naming was in a private room in a cathedral. How did the villains learn he'd been renamed to Adam?<br />
<br />
Worse still, at the end of the film everyone starts referring to him as FRANKENSTEIN again. He even calls HIMSELF the name Frankenstein. WHY?<br />
<br />
To add insult to injury he doesn't even look like a monster.<br />
He looks like this.<br />
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And like THIS<br />
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He doesn't even look stitched together.<br />
They couldn't even be bothered making him look like a corpse. They could have applied some slight color variations to the parts of his body meant to be sewn together. But no that'd require thinking. Instead we get Aaron Eckhart with the worst "i had stitches once" makeup effects ever on his very muscular body and lots of eyeshadow so he looks brooding and intense. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Which doesn't really matter because he says almost nothing throughout the film anyway.<br />
Here's some choice bits of dialogue from the film to help you understand the kind of grim, edgy character they tried to make here. Imagine all these lines being said in a gravelly Christian Bale Batman voice, and you have Eckhart's performance here.<br />
<br />
BLONDE SCIENTIST: I can give you answers, Adam<br />
Frankenstein's Monster: I FIND MY OWN ANSWERS.<br />
<br />
ANGRY GARGOYLE LEADER: God will surely damn you!<br />
Frankenstein's Monster: HE ALREADY DID.<br />
<br />
Frankenstein's Monster: I HATED HIM.<br />
BLONDE SCIENTIST: Have you killed anyone else since then?<br />
Frankenstein's Monster: ....ONLY DEMONS.<br />
<br />
Inbetween these amazing bits of repartee, imagine lots of really bland fight scenes that look like they were cut from the Matrix. But what is one to expect from the brilliant minds who brought us UNDERWORLD and its many many sequels.<br />
<br />
<b>6.) Blonde Scientist Lady</b><br />
<br />
Oh how quaint. There's two scientists in the movie working for the evil sub-Satan demon lord guy. And what a surprise, one happens to be an absolutely gorgeous blonde.<br />
<br />
She's in the movie to be the love interest for Frankenstein's monster, and luckily the film runs out of time before setting that up. So we never see them kiss or do anything. Which is surprising, actually. They were probably going to save it for the sequel.<br />
<br />
Blonde Scientist Lady is one of the characters we're meant to emphasize with but that all goes out the window when she is asked if she if familiar with Frankenstein.<br />
<br />
To which she replies:<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Frankenstein is a myth. A story written to scare children."</i><br />
<br />
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<br />
MARY MOTHERFUCKING SHELLEY'S NOVEL, FRANKENSTEIN? A MYTH? A STORY FOR CHILDREN? A book so scary, its still scary 300 years after it was written? FUCK YOU Stuart Beattie. FUCK YOU Kevin Grevioux.<br />
<br />
Not only did you manage to shit on the very concepts of the book itself. You managed to mock and shit on the book WITHIN THE VERY CONCEPTS you were already shitting on. YOU HAVE MADE AN INFINITE FRACTAL OF INCOMPETENCE.<br />
<br />
YOU'VE CREATED A FILM SO DENSE IN ITS OWN STUPIDITY IT HAS COLLAPSED ON ITSELF AND NOT EVEN LIGHT OR GRAVITY CAN ESCAPE. ALL ONE CAN HEAR AS WE APPROACH THE EVENT HORIZON IS THE SOUNDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS BEING FLUSHED INTO THE VAST TOILET.<br />
<br />
WE'RE GOING IN....<br />
<br />
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MY GOD.</div>
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IT'S FULL OF SHIT.</div>
<br />
<b>7.) The Villain is only a villain for his own underlings.</b><br />
<br />
Bill Nighy, another competent actor, plays the bad guy in this film. A demon lord named Niberius. Like the rest of the demons, he does basically nothing villainous throughout the film. All he wants to do is get some dead bodies reanimated so that his other demon buddies stuck in hell have a corpse to possess. It is never explained in the film why this is a bad thing, or what the demons in this film's universe did that made them the bad guys.<br />
<br />
That said, Niberius does something that only very poorly written villains do. He treats his men like shit. I have never understood why this cliche exists. It is old, stupid, and nonsensical.<br />
<br />
- Niberius sends his men to capture Frankenstein's Monster<br />
- Monster beats the absolute shit out of them, its obvious they cant win<br />
- Niberius thinks this makes his men a failure despite the fact he sent them to out to fight with no armor or weapons because he is a dumbass<br />
- beats the shit out of the one demon who makes it back from the fight who informs him what happened<br />
- Later on, hides the bodies he plans to reanimate in the basement of the building he occupies<br />
- Has no security system set up so literally everyone in the film ends up in the body-containment room at least once throughout the movie<br />
<br />
<br />How bad of a writer are you to write a villain who does shit like this and is meant to be threatening or scary. The "i'm so evil, i do bad things for the sake of it, fuck logic" ideal for villains is the kind of shit a child writes.<br />
<br />
There is literally no motivation by Niberius to be bad, or do bad. At no point in the film does he even come across as a villain. He comes across as a very angry and stupid old man who just so happens to be a demon that wears a dress.<br />
<br />
Whoop-dee-doo.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>8.) What time period is this?</b><br />
<br />
Frankenstein's monster comments early on during his gravelly and brooding exposition-pile of a monologue that he was created 200 years ago...which means that the time period for I, Frankenstein should be in the early 1900's. But it's not. It's modern day times. That said, despite being modern day, all the cars are vintage. All the houses and buildings look like they are from the days of King Arthur. And when we do see technology in the film (such as the device they use to bring a dead rat puppet back to life) it's all very futuristic.<br />
<br />
Guns clearly exist. And guns are apparently scary enough to make a demon kill a police cop out of self-defense. Yet nobody uses guns. Even the demons who work in a large modern corporation and wear business suits and work with computers all day, have no guns.<br />
<br />
Nobody uses guns. Instead everyone on the good guys side fight using old weapons. Axes, swords, blunt clubs and such. And the demons...the ones not stuck in the past....fight with...their hands?<br />
<br />
Which would be cool if the demons showed some proficiency at hand combat but they dont. Basically every fight involves the demons flailing around with their arms being torn to fiery cgi-particle-effects bits due to the fact none of them carry weapons or means of defending themselves.<br />
<br />
<b>9.) Why Gargoyles?</b><br />
<br />
Why not angels? If Satan in this film is confident enough to send his own men to fight on earth, why are there no angels to stop them? Why are man-made constructs humanity's only line of defense against the demons? Is it because the demons pose no real threat and this is the movie's own way of making fun of itself?<br />
<br />
Is God watching and when an angel asks "maybe we should go down there and help fight satan?" the good lord chuckles and says "nah...i think aaron eckhart has a handle on it. btw buddha isnt answering my texts."<br />
<br />
<b>10.) Why Demons?</b><br />
<br />
So...if the represntatives for heaven are man-made constructs, the Gargoyles...why don't the legions of hell have constructs?<br />
Why not effigies? How cool would it have been to have Gargoyles fighting monsters made of sticks, straw, and pieces of murdered livestock and people? Instead of these ugly Ivan Ooze looking assholes who pose no threat to anyone in the film.<br />
<br />
<b>11.) RE-ANIMATING</b><br />
<br />
In the film they show that the manner of reanimating a corpse involves blasting it with electricity. Another cliche from the 1931 Boris Karloff film that never happened in the book. Early on they blast a franken-rat with 5000 jolts of electric shit and it pops back to life.<br />
<br />
It's an instantaneous process. Which makes sense because lightning is nothing if not fast.<br />
<br />
Yet later on, when the giant room of corpses ready for re-animation and demon possession get turned on...despite being in a pots-and-pans clockwork steampunk facility, they all have digital displays on their chests that say:<br />
<br />
ReANIMATION: 0.0%<br />
<br />
The fuck? So now reanimating a body requires charging it like a battery? Immediately you think "oh they're gonna stop the process in a heroic and tense way once the corpses get to 99% so the audience can breathe a sigh of relief" because thats such a popular cliche with countdown timers in shit like this.<br />
<br />
NOPE. We never see those digital displays again for the rest of the film. And when the demons come exploding out of hell (?) underneath the basement of the laboratory, their possession of the corpses is instant as well, like the lightning.<br />
<br />
In short: the movie has no sense of internal logic.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>12.) OVER 60 MILLION DOLLARS</b><br />
<br />
Why in the world would you hire the guy who wrote the G.I.JOE live action movie, the director of JOEY (the movie about the baby kangaroo from 1997) and the guy who made UNDERWORLD and writes on the awful cartoon show BEN10, and then give these two over 60 million dollars to make a movie about Frankenstein's Monster fighting demons.<br />
<br />
Where did this money come from? What rich dumb asshole read the I, Frankenstein comics and script and said "this seems like a good investment" and funded this? Why would you EVER give money to someone who wrote for Ben10, HULK and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. and Young Justice? Three of the worst superhero cartoons to ever air? Why would you trust these two individuals to deliver a quality product?<br />
<br />
<b>13.) Aaron Eckhart needs to fire his agent</b><br />
<br />
Aaron why? Why, man? Between this shit, Battle for Los Angeles, and Olympus Has Fallen surely at some point you realized you're starring in crap? Why? You're an amazing actor. You don't have to do this stuff man. Don't turn into Nicholas Cage 2.0. I don't think my heart could take it. I love you. Pls aaron.<br />
<br />
<br />
Anyway, thats my long winding rant about I, Frankenstein.<br />
<br />
A sane person didn't read all of that and is probably wondering if this movie was bad enough to even be worth such a long angry essay.<br />
<br />
Yes it is.<br />
Go on. Go rent, buy, or download the film.<br />
<br />
Watch it for yourself. Go on.<br />
I warned you.<br />
I warned you all.<br />
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In happier news, Weebl uploaded the other Catface episode I made.<br />
This one I made while my mouth was still full of blood and stitches from the surgery a month ago.<br />
Luckily this one was very short.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/qM_19XuwTis" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
And now I'm going to play some more Path of Exile. ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-32710304847357224342014-05-27T17:50:00.001-05:002014-05-27T17:50:07.065-05:00And who are you, the proud lord saidHello there.<br />
It's been a while.<br />
<br />
So what have I been up to?<br />
<br />
For starters I saw GODZILLA. And it was everything I could possibly hope for in a modern day take on a traditional Godzilla movie. And unlike Pacific Rim, it's actually making money. So good news for everyone.<br />
<br />
<br />
Secondly, I had mouth surgery. Why? Well because for the past few years I'd been dealing with the fact that one of my wisdom teeth basically fell apart in my mouth. Not long after this happened I felt an undeniably shockingly painful bit of pain in that area. Very similar to the pain I felt during my root canal when my nerve endings were torn out. So, I assumed that the nerve had died. And that seemed to be the case. Until about a month ago when suddenly the whole right side of my mouth started feeling <b>INTENSE</b> pain.<br />
On top of that, my top left wisdom tooth was starting to develop little cracks and fissures as well. So off to a dentist I went. And by some amazing luck, the dentist I found does everything based on sedation. And she didnt even poke me in any sensitive spots.<br />
<br />
She took one look in there and said "yeah, all 4 are coming out."<br />
Probably because my mouth looked like this:<br />
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Scribble a beard on that image for a more accurate representation.<br />
<br />
So I went to a surgeon, they gave me a bunch of hydrocodone and other crap to take and told me to come back in a couple of days. I'll be honest here, I'd never 'been under' before in terms of general anesthetic. <br />
On top of that I didn't want to be one of those unlucky smucks who are awake during surgery. That's one of my top 10 "things that will make me shit myself" fears.<br />
<br />
So by the time I was laying down on the chair I was an absolute nervous wreck. Probably as bad as I was back when I was having my anxiety attacks 3 years ago. But lo and behold, it was exactly as everyone said it would be. It was akin to time travel. One moment I'm asking the doctor if talking will help calm me down, and INSTANTLY I am waking up in a soft bed with my mouth full of blood, gauze, saliva, and missing 4 teeth.<br />
<br />
After that began my new diet of sloops, gloops, and glops as I do not dare eat anything solid with all the stitches in my mouth. Mashed potatoes, jello, ice cream, applesauce, broth, some types of soups. I still have alot of these too, since this surgery was only 2 weeks ago.<br />
<br />
After a week I went back in so they could remove my stitches (which had already fallen out), they told me everything was good, gave me a special syringe hose thing to clean out the ghastly holes in my mouth with, and sent me home with a clean bill of health. So now my mouth looks like this:<br />
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<a href="http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs24/i/2009/251/b/c/Nice_teeth_by_soulmage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs24/i/2009/251/b/c/Nice_teeth_by_soulmage.jpg" height="320" width="203" /></a></div>
Go ahead and scribble a beard on that image, too.<br />
<br />
___________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
What ELSE have I been up to?<br />
Well I managed to eek out 2 Catface episodes while I was recovering which was very difficult as the pain medications had me pretty much high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out 24/7 so I spent most of my time staring into nothingness or sleeping.<br />
<br />
One of the Catfaces IS online now so here you go.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/NtzTDs2ziv0" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
I had quite alot of fun with this one as I got to paint a bunch of new backgrounds and draw all those movie posters you briefly see in the shot outside the theater. Other episode isn't out yet and Weebl sent me a new one to do just yesterday.<br />
<br />
___________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<br />
What else, what else. OH!<br />
<br />
<br />After 4 or more years of seeming to be vaporware, another ancient game I was looking forward to has managed to eek its way into existence much like Black Mesa Source.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>STALKER: LOST ALPHA</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">It's out.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes I am as shocked as you are.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span><b> </b></span><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/8Iyyf-Y0234" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
I still can't believe it. It came out literally the day after my surgery. I like to think my hopes of it being released are what gave me the strength to live through that experience.<br />
Either way, you might be wondering what it is.<br />
<br />
After Stalker: Shadow of Chernobyl was released, way back in 2007 (after being in development since before 2002), alot of features had been cut from the game. Guns, characters, monsters, anomalies, even whole massive chunks of the environment had been cut.<br />
<br />
The developers uploaded a free alpha build of what the game USED to be like so people could see everything that had changed. This inspired some modders to find ways of implementing all these cut things into a new version of the game. The way it was originally meant to be, technically.<br />
<br />
It's not perfect but it is glorious. And basically the closest thing I'm ever going to get to a new STALKER game since GSC Gameworld studios were gutted and Survarium turned out to be a piece of shit.<br />
<br />
<br />____________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<br />
Other good news is that the new Kirby game I'd been looking forward to for several months for the Nintendo 3ds is finally out. And much like Lost Alpha, it too is glorious.<br />
And in tandem with the last 3 kirby games, it is full of very subtle and not-so-subtle callbacks to old Kirby titles.<br />
<br />
By far my favorite is when I discovered that holding UP in front of the moon in the background of one of the maps lead to a secret door and room. It was exactly like what the moon did briefly in one part of the original Game Boy Kirby's Dreamland. After passing through it took me to a secret room and the original Kirby's Dreamland music even began to play. A nice easter egg for those who've been playing Kirby since the beginning.<br />
<br />
There's alot of other callbacks and references as well but it would take me hours to list them all. The game is brilliant though. And much like RETURN TO DREAMLAND on wii, manages to be relatively challenging in quite a few areas.<br />
<br />
They also upgraded some of the older Kirby powers.<br />
- Rock now hurts enemies when transforming into the rock and ALSO when transforming back.<br />
- Dashing forward then hitting rock transform makes kirby slide along the ground as the rock, taking out enemies while remaining invincible.<br />
- You can now charge Rock up, turning one of kirby's 'hands' into a giant rock fist that uppercuts enemies and sends them flying to FUCKYOU.<br />
- Sword now has a dash-upwards move<br />
- Spike and moving upwards now turns Kirby into a single very tall spike with very long range that can pierce anything. It works downwards too now as well.<br />
- Wheel can now be charged by holding down, causing the wheel to build up speed<br />
- Spear is back and has new attacks for every direction<br />
- Beam is faster in every way<br />
- Spark and Shock have been combined again like they were in Superstar<br />
<br />
Theres a lot of new powers as well but that's too much to write about.<br />
<br />
__________________________________________________________________<br />
<br />
<br />
But yeah there you go.<br />
Had surgery.<br />
Played games.<br />
Made cartoons.<br />
<br />
That's basically all thats happened as of late.<br />
<br />
OH<br />
<br />
actually.<br />
<br />
I forgot something very important.<br />
<br />
<br />
A bit before my surgery, Valve announced a special contest for TI4, the big competitive DOTA2 tournament. This came right before a GREAT balance update that buffed three of my favorite heroes (Tidehunter, Silencer, and Undying). The contest was to create products that could be sold at TI4, which included posters.<br />
<br />
Months prior, I had started on a piece of DOTA2 fanart, featuring some of my favorite supports. Like many things I start, work and other stuff got in the way and I stopped working on it. This contest however inspired me to finish it and its probably the best painting I've ever done.<br />
<br />
Please vote for it <a href="http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=246042370" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
It won't get in but I do appreciate the votes.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJEO6uQDO45f4dND3XcMOxIt63-ELiLTsCXxhidCSBBxopMQZS8NJ9IU5pTHSVrwuoRWIhVfGcIAM7SNWwQlNtN56p_Kr3wHCsXj-pAnICJVwJZWz4QQSsbc1Jzrs6EVdGCI7O5A/s1600/test.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJEO6uQDO45f4dND3XcMOxIt63-ELiLTsCXxhidCSBBxopMQZS8NJ9IU5pTHSVrwuoRWIhVfGcIAM7SNWwQlNtN56p_Kr3wHCsXj-pAnICJVwJZWz4QQSsbc1Jzrs6EVdGCI7O5A/s1600/test.jpeg" height="177" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
About a week ago, my friend Trickyclock (creator of the Little Buddy sailor hat for the pyro in Team Fortress 2), came to me wanting to collaborate. He and I had collaborated before on a flare gun for the TF2 pyro.<br />
<br />
This time however, we were making a sticker for Counter Strike: Global Offensive.<br />
Much like hats for tf2, stickers and skins are all the rage in CS:GO.<br />
So he gave me some basic directions of what he wanted and I drew a thing:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQvTiHY3Ue6aaM6hkzzmGA9neXYtbBdLjjHYW6uhiWwovTWBQxxUMIGbtVzLZLTflTDLNdD2DyAV5YjpN6fDwikLoYIaR2_pvp6NQRGU1yBKJ0b1AiS-raxIbeYV36qYY6iTvuVA/s1600/test2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQvTiHY3Ue6aaM6hkzzmGA9neXYtbBdLjjHYW6uhiWwovTWBQxxUMIGbtVzLZLTflTDLNdD2DyAV5YjpN6fDwikLoYIaR2_pvp6NQRGU1yBKJ0b1AiS-raxIbeYV36qYY6iTvuVA/s1600/test2.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
You can vote that design as well <a href="http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=260364073&searchtext=" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Thank you for voting if you do.<br />
<br />
It looks like another hailstorm is about to hit this house, so I bid you all adieu.<br />
I need to fix the music player on this blog.<br />
ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-24354115452012664712014-02-19T20:29:00.000-05:002014-02-19T20:29:42.667-05:00Let the storm rage on. The cold never bothered me anyway.Sorry about the lack of posting.<br />
<br />
It's not that I'm not around.<br />
I'm basically online every day.<br />
It's just that I have little to say.<br />
<br />
No news is good news I suppose, even for a pessimist such as myself. So, what's new? What have I been up to? Well I animated a couple of new CATFACE episodes for Weebl.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/_b-fOPWuLOQ" width="380"></iframe> <br />
<br />I think I posted the previous one.<br />
Hmm what else.<br />Oh I started working on a new painting.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGEXdTSx2VPXymI_eNAaZeF6_VavMwAE0KiKRrcz4x6af-Vh_PXAFQrxjyTP4Z6Z6Ot-eEk3T2jVXmQSy_fo27p60nOFyLmm3IfRZtd2BHa79qx3ZJSDq-iDCfZFpW8VL5zAC0zA/s1600/dotesclr3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGEXdTSx2VPXymI_eNAaZeF6_VavMwAE0KiKRrcz4x6af-Vh_PXAFQrxjyTP4Z6Z6Ot-eEk3T2jVXmQSy_fo27p60nOFyLmm3IfRZtd2BHa79qx3ZJSDq-iDCfZFpW8VL5zAC0zA/s1600/dotesclr3.jpg" height="177" width="320" /></a></div>
It isn't done yet, obviously.<br />
<br />
<br />
Christmas came and went. I got a fantastic pair of TT Games Esports headphones from my brother as well as a new CD drive for my rig. I also got myself a GTX-680 graphics card about a month before that so I could run METRO LAST LIGHT on max settings. It was well worth it.<br />
<br />
<br />
What else has happened?<br />
Oh.<br />
<br />
So <a href="http://survarium.com/en" target="_blank">Survarium</a> the so-called "spiritual successor" to the long-dead <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSvw93-Snp8" target="_blank">S.T.A.L.K.E.R.</a> series is out. As a fan of the STALKER franchise and the works it was inspired by, and the works it has in turn inspired, I was very VERY excited for this.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately the game is now in open beta. And uh. Well. It's basically another crap call of duty clone but now in a vaguely STALKER-esque environment. It honestly sickens me. And now that I've beaten <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2djDE_kwH3Q" target="_blank">Metro 2033 and Metro Last Light</a> I pretty much have nothing to look forward to in terms of good atmospheric first person shooters. <br />
<br />
At least the creators of "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUjTvDDHxis" target="_blank">Nightmare House</a>" mod in Source engine have a new mod coming out. But until that happens I'm relegated to the usual Killing Floor, Warframe, TF2, Dota2 ferris wheel.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
What else.<br />
Oh it Mike's birthday a few days ago. Rachel got him a portable e-cigarette thing.<br />
And then a couple days later we all went to the fair.<br />
I spent money before XMAS to get myself a very nice CANON VIXIA r400 model digital camcorder. It records in TRUE HD and is very nice. So I brought it with me to the Florida State Fair to record things.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/XzjGcbvWudw" width="380"></iframe><br />
If you've seen any of my previous videos with the old camera you should be able to see a noticeable rise in film quality. I am very pleased with it. Plus it supports audio input meaning I can attach a microphone to it.<br />
<br />
Anyway.<br />
I'm off to hang out with friends and maybe see the Lego Movie.<br />
Good day.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-32763432810435995542013-09-11T02:59:00.000-05:002013-09-11T02:59:12.720-05:00Like the gummy worms you get on Halloween. This is different though, it's healthy.Crossfire!<br />
Don't get caught up in the....CROSSFIRE!<br />
<br />
<br />
So as per usual with these, here's a breakdown of what I've been up to.<br />
For starters, I've been making a few cartoons for Weebl.<br />
<br />
I made this cartoon about robots fighting in a bar.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/jnlgDcycsKM" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
And this new episode of Catface about Catface playing board games.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="285" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/j7q9FoWM6vQ" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
And then weebl sent me some audio and gave me a couple weeks to basically just sort of do whatever I wanted with it. Which resulted in this:<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/L9rKHq_9Y1g" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Besides that I also made a new video on my own Youtube channel.<br />
It's about DOTA2 which if you have not subjected yourself to the regular anguish and pleasure that is DOTA, then this video wont make much sense to you.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/0H9s0yU3Uio" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
<br />
The clip is uses is from the television show, GAME OF THRONES. I did not watch Game of Thrones until my friend Mike sat me down and forced me to. After watching a couple episodes I quickly decided to blaze through the entire series three seasons in about a week. I haven't been so enamored with a program since Frasier. It is fantastic.<br />
<br />
Some weeks ago, some of the cast from the show were at the Tampa Bay Comic Convention. My friends Mike and Tom met them and got autographs. Tom also brought back a fantastic board game called <a href="http://www.daysofwonder.com/online/en/smallworld" target="_blank">SMALL WORLD</a>. It is fun as fuck. And I'm not just saying that because I manage to win almost each time we play. It's like the perfect halfway point between <a href="http://www.catan.com/" target="_blank">Settlers of Catan</a> and <a href="http://www.hasbro.com/games/en_US/shop/details.cfm?R=34DA36C9-5056-900B-10A4-3B04F9EA5D3E:en_US" target="_blank">Risk</a>.<br />
<br />
<br />
What else? OH!<br />
If you're familiar with Egoraptor, Rubber Ross, and the Game Grumps then you don't need to click <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/RubberRoss" target="_blank">here.</a> Of course if you aren't then you SHOULD click there. Go on! IT WONT BITECHA! Ross is making a new pokemon flash movie. And I am doing the backgrounds! Cool eh?<br />
<br />
Oh!<br />
<br />
And here's the biggest news of all.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">THE BIGGEST NEWS EVER POSSIBLE.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">I HAVE UPDATED (after one whole year) the DUSTBUNNIES OFFICIAL WEBCOMIC I MAKE. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. LIKE WHOA MAN. LIKE WHOAAAAAA.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">So Yeah.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Get excited.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here's the link. <a href="http://dustbunni.es/" target="_blank">BOOM.</a> </span> </span><br />
You might have noticed that Dustbunnies is now hosted on tumblr.<br />
That is because as time passes, Google continues to fuck up blogger.<br />
Its weird in a way.<br />
<br />
Google does everything so competently for such a large company.<br />
And then you look at what they've done with Youtube and Blogger.<br />
And all you can really do is sigh.<br />
<br />Can't win 'em all I guess!<br />
<br />
And now we end today's post with this beautiful footage from the TI3 finals of Dota2.<br />
Wow look at Dendi play Abaddon! And it what Admiral Bulldog as Visage? WOWZERS!<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="285" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/WwaaKPy_6iI" width="380"></iframe><br />ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-88134363955521085672013-05-14T06:08:00.001-05:002013-05-14T06:08:57.689-05:00With a poison twist!Alot of stuff has happened since my last post.<br />
Alot alot alot.<br />
<br />
So much in fact I was actually sort of dreading making this post just because oh good god there's so much shit I need to post.<br />
<br />
Let's start with something minecraft-related since most visitors to this blog come here for that. A couple years ago I did a piece of fanart for Mojang, the company who develop Minecraft. It's a fanart piece that got really popular very quickly and before I knew it Manny of Mojang had contacted me wanting to commission a new full piece. Two full pieces were made. Each very large and at least 6000 pixels wide for EXTREME SHARPNESS.<br />
<br />
I was paid and they kept the rights to the two images. One of them is the poster that is sold in the Jinx online store which I've linked to before. The other for whatever reason never saw the light of day. I'm not sure why it never did, it was just as good as the first image. Part of me things they forgot entirely. This was right before Minecraft experienced its MASSIVE SUPERNOVA OF POPULARITY. After that Manny told me they'd contact me again to make them more art if I wanted to. I said yes since I was, and still am, a fan of minecraft.<br />
<br />
The main image was later made into a full-size mural which sat inside the Mojang offices on their back wall. Alot of images of notch, jeb, and the others sitting and working in front of the mural have been on the internet for some time. They moved into a new very suave office building recently and I have no idea what became of the mural. I can only assume its gone now since it was basically wallpaper. <br />
<br />
They never did contact again which always made me sort of sad, but they did start to commission work from a few other obscure artists which I thought was quite nice. Long story short, as I was picking up smoothie ingredients with my friend Mike in WALMART today, we walked by the posters section. Walmart has always had a section where posters are sold. Usually its full of old promotional images of spongebob everyone has seen a few hundred times, bad modern day alt-rock bands, wrestling, movies like THE CROW, and scantily clad women with more plastic in their bodies than a stretch armstrong.<br />
<br />
However as I passed by I noticed something familiar!<br />
My mural!<br />
Being sold in a Wal-Mart along with the other commissioned art pieces.<br />
I had to snap a photo of course.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzNE7bDf7tsjbZwfwlog3S930OfkMTFDpG7xAsuV_paSJ0p3JcR9VCNK8SY_SMa7d9dLLZM8NM5TcwtdSaWAYH4JHoSDyybxYmv91KN5FTZ2C2HIJb9Cas3deW3gmfkQD6gQjbrg/s1600/miney.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzNE7bDf7tsjbZwfwlog3S930OfkMTFDpG7xAsuV_paSJ0p3JcR9VCNK8SY_SMa7d9dLLZM8NM5TcwtdSaWAYH4JHoSDyybxYmv91KN5FTZ2C2HIJb9Cas3deW3gmfkQD6gQjbrg/s1600/miney.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></div>
For those curious, YES, that overweight arab terrorist standing next to the poster is me in my Tuesday Best. Those bulges you might mistake for manboobs are actually tightly packed bundles of C-4.<br />
<br />
So there's that.<br />
I officially created a product that is being sold in Wal-Mart. Inbetween Iron Man 3 and Twilight Sparkle posters. While in retrospect I should have probably signed a thing so I could get like 1% of each poster sold or whatever, I am still quite proud of this achievement. Being a Wal-Mart product means I am now part of what makes this nation great.<br />
<br />
~rtil: weird<br />
@reptilicus: i am now a thing sold in a walmart<br />
@reptilicus: i am a piece of american culture now<br />
@reptilicus: like jesus<br />
@reptilicus: or hamburgers<br />
bigarmybug: and guns<br />
~rtil: walmart; bastion of american culture<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://www.sumterpost15.com/images/American_Eagle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.sumterpost15.com/images/American_Eagle.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
<br />
Speaking of Minecraft, I pretty much had to ignore everything internet related for a few weeks because I was TREMENDOUSLY BUSY. When I'd gotten back there was a new hero in Dota2 and Minecraft now has horses. Horse breeding, horse riding, horse combat, skeleton horses, zombie horses. I get to spend some time retexturing all these for my <a href="http://www.minecraftforum.net/topic/180251-zekocraft16-px-updated-march-13th-15/" target="_blank">texture pack.</a> Fun fun fun!<br />
<br />
________________________________________<br />________________________________________<br />________________________________________<br />________________________________________<br />________________________________________<br />
<br />
But wait! There's more!<br />
Last time I posted on this blog I had done a cartoon for Weebl called <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_qjjZ2Y2SU" target="_blank">Yorkshire Inception.</a><br />
Well since that time I've made TWO new cartoons for weebl! Both are part of the WOBBLE BOX series on his new HUHA channel. Huha is a big collaboration channel where weebl and a whole bunch of other humor and animation people make stuff together. Sometimes I help!<br />
<br />
I made a cartoon about H.R.Giger for Wobble Box 3. I implore you to watch the whole thing, but if you really just want to see my part because you're some sort of diehard fan of mine (hyena_laughter.mp3) then skip to about 2 minutes and 40 seconds in.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Dxz50T_gq_U" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
A couple weeks later weebl sent me a longer bit to do about a superhero named DEK LASER. The cartoon has been split up and serves as a bumper between sketches in Wobble Box 4. However Wobble Box 4 does actually begin with the first part of Dek Laser which is neat! Weebl wanted it to be in a retro style so I went all out on raygun gothic stuff as much as I could. I only had a week to do it though. But I'm still pleased with how it came out.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/hktnD8fA3bs" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />___________________________________<br />___________________________________<br />___________________________________<br />___________________________________<br />___________________________________<br />
<br />
But wait! THERES EVEN MORE TO TALK ABOUT HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
The final two episodes of Happy Harry's <b>BEARSHARK</b> cartoons premiered on College Humor! Theres also now an official BEARSHARK Nintendo 3DS game!<br />
<br />
So heres the two eps that premiered.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="269" src="http://www.collegehumor.com/e/6883076" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="300"></iframe><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="269" src="http://www.collegehumor.com/e/6882910" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="300"></iframe><br />
<br />
And as always, here's some high res pics of some the background art I did for these.<br />
For the "Old" episode I tried to take a cue from the backgrounds in Courage the Cowardly Dog. <br />
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And the ones from the ghost episode are next.<br />
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So theres that.<br />
<br />
<br />
You might think: "Oh man, theres no way this fat bastard can possibly fit even MORE stuff into this post."<br />
<br />
Well you'd be god damn wrong, motherfucker.<br />
<br />
<br />
___________________________<br />___________________________<br />___________________________<br />___________________________<br />___________________________<br />
<br />
Yes, there's MORE.<br />
<br />
I recently received news that I may be losing my house soon!<br />
Which means I need more money!<br />
Which means I might open up for commissions.<br />
Which means after 9 years of staying away because its a shitty website, I re-joined DEVIANTART.<br />
<br />
So yeah.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://pseudogiant.deviantart.com/" target="_blank">Here's my new deviantart account. Don't expect much and you won't walk away disappointed.</a><br />
<br />
<br />ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-30729180017242632962013-04-07T11:49:00.001-05:002013-04-07T11:49:31.124-05:00How can it not matter to you where that train will take you? During the previous episode of Catface there was a very low quiet noise that came from the tv that sounded like a tv show. Well it actually WAS a tv show. Weebl recorded a whole minute and a half of amusing dialogue that he then gave to me. So I spent a week and a half animating it.<br />
And here it is.<br />
<br />
YORKSHIRE INCEPTION<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="214" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0_qjjZ2Y2SU" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
In similar news, the latest episode of Bearshark has finally gone online.<br />
As with the last two, I did backgrounds while my friend Bug did the animation.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="269" src="http://www.collegehumor.com/e/6879779" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="380"></iframe><br />
<br />
And as with the last couple of these, here are some high res images of some of the backgrounds I did.<br />
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In other news, Killing Floor and Red Orchestra 2 are now part of the Humble Indie Bundle. Meaning that Killing Floor is currently overflowing with newbies who don't understand how to kill a scrake or fleshpound or siren and keep buying the wrong guns for their class perk. On the other hand, maybe people will finally play the aborted fetus that is Red Orchestra 2 for once.<br />
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Spiral Knights also had a big update recently. All the games menus have been redesigned and look pretty lovely although a bit too large. They also finally nerfed the most unfair monsters in the game: Devilites.<br />
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Also Nintendo revealed the next Mewtwo.<br />
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It might be called Mewthree or some shit. Who knows anymore, really? I like it's design. Mewtwo was always such a lanky creepy looking motherfucker. And this new thing is even lankier and creepier with its sloth-toes and headtail.<br />
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Anyway.<br />
That's about all I have to talk about.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-38363972726231863492013-03-24T05:46:00.001-05:002013-03-24T05:46:09.063-05:00Clambulance! Clambulance!So.<br />
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So so so.<br />
<br />
Whassamattayou?<br />
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Heya.<br />
<br />
New CATFACE came out today that I animated.<br />
BEHOLD! WITH ALACRITY!<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="203" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/qszpjBQGSI4" width="360"></iframe><br />
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I also decided to finally go through some shamefully old files and .fla's today. Found some ancient cartoons including an unfinished .fla for MEAT GRINDER which is one of my...better old things. I uploaded a three of the old films to youtube. One is on my MindyMindington account and the other two are on the usual ZekeySpaceyLizard account.<br />
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On top of that, since I had the .fla handy I decided to export some high quality screencaps of Meat Grinder. For sentimental value. From a time when I was far less busy and far more creative.<br />
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Some of these could be desktop backgrounds I suppose.<br />
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I'm still proud of some of the design decisions I made for this film.<br />
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Looking at screencaps for this reminds me how much dull grey pink and cyan I used to use in films. I still use those colors alot. Not sure why. Some psychological thing I wager.<br />
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Still a very icky scene, the nose removal.<br />
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One of these days I want to remake this film.<br />
I also found an old old art image I made in flash of some sort of colorful jungle.<br />
I thought this thing had been lost to the sands of time. It's VERY old. Originally if I recall it was a Mother's Day gift.<br />
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Oh!<br />
Remember how in the last blog post I posted a piece of concept art for a Magical Trevor thing I never ended up working on? Well, here is some more Trevor sketches I found when trying to nail down a style for the film that never came to be.<br />
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I really need to update Dustbunnies.<br />
Anyway.<br />
The old Ducktales game is getting remade, Keeper of the Light got nerfed, and I have been reintroduced to the heavenly flavor of Toaster Strudels. Good times.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-5775910965287974502013-03-12T16:07:00.002-05:002013-03-12T16:07:21.009-05:00she's morphine, queen of my vaccine<i>Please don't go....I'll eat you whole.....</i><br />
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Another new post in a matter of days? Yes that's right. This blog train has picked up steam and is chugging ahead. So you'd best bend over and open wide, cause she's comin' in at full speed.<br />
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For starters, after that drawing of Weaver I made in the last blog post, my friend Lagamuffin wanted me to draw him SLARK from Dota2. So I did so!<br />
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<br />
So today a new episode of BEARSHARK, the series I was working on over the last month and a half for Nintendo and Collegehumor, has premiered officially on the CollegeHumor website. Here it is in full glory for all to enjoy:<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="300" src="http://www.collegehumor.com/e/6876774" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="380"></iframe><br />
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This episode was definitely the most difficult one out of the bunch to do. Constant changes in scenery with very detailed props for the backgrounds and foregrounds. And now that it's up I can share some of the finished and unfinished backgrounds I made for this project!<br />
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The urge to make that toolbox look like the Engie's toolbox from Team Fortress 2 was overwhelming. BUT I RESISTED THE URGE TO DO SO.<br />
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As you can see outside of some trees and clouds I couldn't reconstitute many props.<br />
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I've been watching my friend Lawlcat play the new Tomb Raider on his livestream. Despite the new Tomb Raider looking like absolute shit at E3, this game is pretty nifty. I can only hope the same can be said for the new THIEF game, which so far from all the interviews with the developers sounds like they turned Thief into Assassin's Creed. Which is very fuckin bad for Thief since it's about stealth. Which Assassin's Creed is not. They also compared it to Skyrim which is the farthest thing from a stealth game you could ever possibly get.<br />
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I am reasonably worried. But I've been worried about reboots before. Deus Ex was a nice surprise and so far so is Tomb Raider.<br />
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In other news I made a Linkedin account and filled it with absolute tripe.<br />
Just another day in the Zone.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-80344994352177334762013-03-06T07:50:00.001-05:002013-03-06T07:50:35.175-05:00The Loom weaves my life anew.It's been a couple of months eh!<br />
Unlike the usual delay in blogging this delay wasnt caused by me having nothing of interest to say.<br />
No, far from it actually.<br />
Actually I've been incredibly busy with work! Professional work! Professional work for College Humor and Nintendo thanks to my friend <a href="http://yottateam.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Jake Ganz</a> and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/HarryPartridge" target="_blank">HappyHarry</a>.<br />
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Also I've been playing videogames as well. For christmas my friend Jake (yes the same one as before) got me some VIDYAGAEM via the Humble Indie Bundle. At first I was very addicted to Dungeon Defenders. But after I leveled up a mage(90), monk(91), knight(88), EV(86), and summoner(94), I finally managed to break my brief addiction. Now I find myself playing Binding of Isaac and Dota2 again.<br />
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Speaking of DOTA2, I once again found myself playing Weaver tonight. Weaver is a hero who starts very weak and slowly gets HILARIOUSLY ANNOYING and basically turns into a machine gun who can vanish at will. He also craps out little babby weavers that ram people, chew on them, do damage, and remove their armor points. He can also turn invisible and clip through people, which if you have good items does pretty darn good damage. He is very fun as a sort of hybrid support/carry dude.<br />
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And I did pretty darn well with him in a random match tonight. 7 kills, 1 death, 17 assisted kills as Weaver. 7/1/17. I was quite happy and ended up drawing Weaver. Then I thought this might make a nice desktop background and so, that is what I did. Here is a desktop bg for those who care. (I'm shocked anyone still visits this blog or my webcomic considering the lethargic updates.)<br />
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Anywho.<br />
Onto real news.<br />
I mentioned earlier I've been tremendously busy and doing work for CollegeHumor/Nintendo. This is true! I have no reason to lie. In short, long ago when I was a far more pathetic wretch than I am now, my good friend Jake swore an oath to me that one day he'd start a studio and hire me and some of my other animator buddies. I didn't believe him of course due to the fact I am a pessimist. That said, he kept his promise. He and my friend BigArmyBug have done animation for a few popular animators now.<br />
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And I am one of (if not the only, I'm not sure) background artist on the team. Mainly because my tablet pc cant really run FlashCS3 and so I can't animate for Studio Yotta.<br />
Anyway long story short, Nintendo and CollegeHumor comissioned some new episodes of Happy Harry's BEARSHARK cartoon for the Nintendo 3DS Netflix thingy. So I did backgrounds while my friend Brandon (bigarmybug) did animation and keyframes.<br />
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The first of the five episodes we worked on has been released!<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="200" src="http://www.collegehumor.com/e/6874089" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="300"></iframe><br />
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And since it's out I can show you guys some of the background art I made for it!<br />
Since this episode takes place in space-faring facility, I used very clean and grey colors to give it that sterilized scientific look without having to add too much detail. <br />
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two backrounds were made for when the rocket takes off so there could be some dramatic lighting.<br />
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these are some "outer space" backgrounds that never made it in<br />
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half of this cliff was drawn by happyharry. i drew the other half.<br />
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originally this closet was a bathroom but later we changed it<br />
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And there you go.<br />
Some of the backgrounds I did for the SPACE episode.<br />
There are quite a few eps that have not premiered yet, and as they premier I will continue to upload little pics of things I helped with. The backgrounds get better and more interesting as I got more comfortable imitating Harry's background art style. You will see in later eps. These are all made in Flash, for those who might wonder. <br />
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Something else arty I did recently was help my friend Lawlcat. Lawlcat used to be quite famous amongst the Minecraft community for helping to bring about MCLAWL which was some of the first complex in-depth multiplayer server software for Minecraft back when the Classic Creative mode was the thing. Nowadays he, like many of my /v/ friends who no longer play miney crafta much, hangs out in a small private irc channel where we chat about games and other random things.<br />
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Lawl quite enjoys E.V.E. Online. Which if you havent played, is probably one of the most impressive space simulator games ever created and probably one of the most impressive games of all time. It's a strange mixture of office paperwork and mapmaking with space battles, wormholes, nebulas and other stuff. There are companies in the game, run by players, hiring players. Some are HUGE with hundreds to thousands of people staffed to a company. Some are wee! They trade and wage war with each other through the cosmos. Each has a name and an emblem. Except for the company Lawl is a part of. Who call themselves EXISTENTIAL ANXIETY (or Angst for short). So one night when I was bored we brainstormed some concepts and I made a few designs. They aren't particularly impressive but I figured I'd upload them anyway. The turnarounds on these were quite short and I probably spent at most maybe 15 minutes on any of them.<br />
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Anyway if you're ever flying around E.V.E. Online and see a group with, and I quote,<i> "a giant space vagina surrounded by pentagons"</i> as their logo, now you know who made it.<br />
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Also over the winter break, me and my friend TrickyClock tried to design a Team Fortress 2 item again.<br />
However much like our previous attempt he was too busy to model it and I was too busy doing god knows what.<br />
So here is the concept:<br />
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On another note, right before I got the Happy Harry job, Weebl asked me to draw him Magical Trevor.<br />
He was planning on making a NEW Magical Trevor cartoon! However I was too busy to help so all that exists is this drawing I made. Someone else is making it now, I believe.<br />
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And there you have it. Now you know what has been eating away at my time as of late.<br />
I leave you now with these wise words of wisdom from a mystical prophet of another age and time:<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>Foreverial tied up fat sparky enjoying himself, loving the half he has been fattened, fully complete permanently delitzed and fully wrapped up, tied up, rope mummified, all foreverially tied up all over his fully delitized head to his fully delitized feet.</i> - Ghandi</span><br />
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I hope that helps you find your own personal zen.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-18733287799729660382012-12-22T01:55:00.000-05:002012-12-22T01:55:39.514-05:00I am the beast I worship.Right-O so as some may have noticed I've been a bit absent as of late. <br />
Thats for a few reasons.<br />
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1.) I havent had much to talk about.<br />
2.) The world was ending.<br />
3.) I've been busy with two cartoons. Both of which are online.<br />
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For starters, some may recall that last year me and my friend Willva made a movie called A Shiny Minecraft Tale. It snagged about 3 million views on Youtube. However me and Will didn't see hardly a dime of that because Youtube is run by dunderheads who have the worst customer service I've seen since Electronic Arts.<br />
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That said, a few months ago we started up a IndieGogo/Kickstarter to try and get funding for the sequel series to the film. We made about 200 bucks. Yep. So with that in mind we decided to plow ahead and do our best and now after some very stressful weeks, the film is done. (And I can go back to working on Polypeptide).<br />
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Ladies and Germs,<br />
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<big><big><big><span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A Scary Minecraft Tale</span></big></big></big><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="214" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QdhGuppatPI" width="380"></iframe><br />
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Some slightly dated concept art for the film:<br />
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I also helped make a new episode of CATFACE for weebl. I had no time to really work on it and had to really rush it at the end so it came out as sort of a mess. He wasn't too pleased at that, obviously. But at least its done now just in time for Christmas.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="214" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4nTz4aVKwdk" width="380"></iframe> <br />
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So yeah, there you go.<br />
Now I'm going to eat chef boyardee.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11766774.post-27756857665169874912012-12-10T05:59:00.004-05:002012-12-10T05:59:48.801-05:00Who's got my rusty horseshoe?YOU DO.<br />
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Hey folks.<br />
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Yes it's been several months since a last blogpost.<br />
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No I have not forgotten this blog.<br />
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Actually not a day has gone by that I haven't tried to think of SOMETHING to post in it.<br />
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But the sad truth is....theres just no real news. Work continues on me and Willva's minecraft film. Weebl just gave me a new episode of Catface to do. And other than some art I can slop up here....eh. There just isn't much to talk about. Life remains a slightly amusing loop of quiet separated by very busy periods. <br />
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However I'd like to get at least 1 post in before the New Year hits and QUETZALCOATL himself descends from the heavens to strike down mortals in the days to come, as the mayans, aztecs, and quakers predicted eons ago.<br />
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So have some crap.<br />
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This thing is concept art for a TF2 weapon me and a friend wanted to design. It never ended up getting made. Currently we are trying again with a Christmas submission. Since the Pyro is still mostly relegated to being a very defensive minded class, a lot of folks have suggested giving him a riot shield. But medieval shields are all the rage in TF2, so I decided to draw a bunch of drawings of the pyro with various maces and shields of different origins and designs.<br />
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Also SPIRAL KNIGHTS got a real update for the first time in what seemed like ages.<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="203" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QXOv8SHYNDA" width="360"></iframe><br />
You can now customize guild halls with all sorts of furniture and other knick-knacks. Something the fanbase has been BEGGING for since forever. There's quite alot of unique stuff you can add, too. I joined a new guild in the game called Of Draco Dust. I made a little art piece for the very kind guild leader.<br />
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Not great, but I basically slung it together in about a half hour.<br />
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Me and Mike discovered an old abandoned phosphate refinery out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. We will be exploring it soon and recording our adventure. Finally get to post some real urbex up in this hizzy.<br />
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I also found a bunch of incredibly old cartoons from 2004-2005 that I'm going to put up on Youtube as soon as I have the time to do so.<br />
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And uh....that's about it.<br />
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Like I said.<br />
Not much to say.<br />
No news is good news I guess.<br />
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All I want for Christmas is a Ti2 or Ti3 camera. But that shit's expensive.<br />
I'll be happy with anything really. I'm not picky. Hell, a coupon for Five Guys Burgers and Fries would be enough to make me happy.<br />
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To end this post, here are two images of myself.<br />
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And before you clever clever Hemmingways start to crack wise, that is Hookah smoke. Not whatever you think it is. Hookah.<br />
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That about covers it I think.<br />
I really need to go to bed.ZSLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07822716865032696042noreply@blogger.com4