Ye Oldde Blogge

The blog of a person....yeah that sounds good.

Friday, January 25, 2019

Friday, May 05, 2017


" On the way to the lab, Rex encounters a snake swimming calmly through the waters of the swamp. Deeming it unfit for existence, Rex takes hold of the creature and, with strength only secondary to the gods themselves, enacts his eternal judgement upon the reptile by flinging it through the air to its doom. As the very matter of existence began to tear from the sheer speed of the hapless invertebrate's trajectory, it greatly and easily surpassed the flimsy laws of known physics to become entangled with the fabric of space-time. As the snake bore witness to the blurring of the past, present, and future, beholding all that was and what will be in an instant, it found a sense of calm. Moments later, but like an eternity to the snake, it began to rip apart at the molecular level, leaving quantum ghosts of what once was matter along its path. The speed was so great at this point that the snake's mass became infinite, and when it collided with the water's surface, disintegrating into nothingness, its electrons careening into other dimensions, Rex smirked, knowing that God's law had been carried out."

Sunday, January 01, 2017

Look at that! Isn't it ridiculous! Maybe it will leave if we all laugh at it!

It's been a whole year since I last made a post on this dead-ass blog.
For those wondering why I rarely post here, its because:

A.) Google sabotaged blogger and made it into a pile of crap

B.) I made a tumblr blog where I generally post my garbage nowadays

C.) Little to talk about.

I spent the first half of the year trying to get Decoupling into film festivals to no avail. Being a cartoon, being so short, and not having much in the way of plot meant that pretty much nobody wanted it.
I had hoped it might drum up interest in my work, or the word of my friend Kevin who did the music for the short. But it didn't and I gave up.

However not long afterwards my very good friend CVG got the film into a latin american art festival.  It was shown in front of a large crowd of people on a big screen in a fancy theater. And that quickly turned a very sour year into a relatively pleasant one.

After that I came to a realization that would probably be the highlight of my year and I needed to find a new way to be productive.
I decided since I'd been sitting on my ZEKE idea for so long maybe it was time to bring it fruition. At least from a writing standpoint. So, I have been writing scripts. I've got about 25 scripts done now for comics.
Very soon I will be hopefully starting it up and seeing how it goes.
The story has come along very well and I'm quite pleased with the work I've done so far on it. I've also been finalizing character concept designs and such, something I've been meaning to do for a long time.

And so I spent a fair bit of time doing that while making little bits of art throughout the months including 1 commission I got to do involving Knights of Sidonia. Two highlights of this was a digital art piece I did of Lord Hater from Wander Over Yonder was favorited by Craig McCracken (creator of the show) himself on both Tumblr and Twitter. Very cool stuff.

However the year didnt really kick off until about late September when I was contacted by Jake of Studio Yotta. I had already been considering contacting him and begging him for work when, by fortuitous coincidence, he came to me first. He told me he was working on a secret project and wanted to know if I could help.

As a test he sent me a shot of animation to clean up. I immediately recognized the background art as something I was familiar with from a famous classic PC game of the 90's. I grew quite excited and soon became part of the group of artists working on this:

And so for the last few months up until December began I have been doing work for DoubleFine under the Studio Yotta header as an animator for Full Throttle Remastered. It has made the 2nd half of 2016 one of the best years I've had in a long while. I am incredibly lucky this opportunity came along when it did, and very thankful Jake was kind enough to bring me on.

Of course you'd know this already if you read my tumblr instead of this blog!
Anyway that's all really.
I spent New Year's Eve in the company of friends, eating tiny sausages, watching ghostbusters, and drinking cider.

 And now I'm going back to writing more comic scripts. Toodle-Oo!

Wednesday, January 06, 2016

You were not born with a watch.

At least 2016 is off to a somewhat positive start! My new cartoon is finished!

I started on Decoupling last year around late July early August. With the realization I was turning 30 soon and I wasn't getting any work I decided to start putting some of my wasted job-seeking efforts into making a new short film! I hadn't made a cartoon entirely of my own ideas since Swag Pie and even then, I had to make that about swag and/or pie somehow since it was based on a song Weebl had made.

So I made 30 seconds of silly things coming out of other things and that was that. But sometime after it was done I sort of realized that it was perhaps.....TOO short. And since my animation PC was dying (rip 2007-2015) and Decoupling could very well be my last film, I wanted to make sure I made it as insane and high-quality as I was able to. So I animated more and more and eventually it became a whole minute long!

For comparison here are other things that can happen in a minute:

1.) Spreading butter onto some toast.
2.) Scratching an itchy part on a butt.
3.) Reciting a very short poem.

Anyway after it was done, I wondered if I should try making or acquiring sound effects for it. And what of music? Do I just use some copyrighted music like I've used before? I eventually came to the idea of no. If this was to be the end, I wanted it to be an end where everything was homemade. No shortcuts.

So, I went to the resident musician of Rtil's website known as the BackAlleys, a man who calls himself Shadowfox02, or Shads for short. He's been there longer than I have and has made music for a few independent projects. He has turned out stunning work (and stunningly fast) before so I asked him if he wanted to make music for the film. He eagerly (perhaps TOO eagerly) said yes!

And now quite some time later, right as we hobble into the new year, the film is done. And while the animation of the cartoon probably isn't too impressive to some, it was the height of my abilities and my partnership I shared with my ToshibaM400 laptop tablet. In a way, this film is dedicated to it. It saw me through thick and thin and together created many things. And now it is gone. Goodbye you beautiful shitty piece of machinery.

So here it is, the culmination of the efforts of a musician with bad luck, an artist with no future, and a recently deceased PC. And I personally think it came out pretty darn good, all things considered. It is a minute and a half I am very pleased with and proud of, and I cannot thank Shads enough for his work on the project and making something so damn good to go with the visuals.

And as usual for those who still come to this blog, thank you for reading. I hope if you pondered when or if I'd ever make another animated short again, that now your strange thirst for content is slaked.


So what is the next step?
Well step 2 is that I enter this little Decoupling ditty into any film festivals that are free. I hope that it brings some attention to my work and can give my career a kick in the pants it needs. But even if it doesn't, I'm just happy it's finished. I set out to do something, do it well, and it came out beyond my own expectations.

And I can't really think of a better way to start off 2016. Can you?


Saturday, January 02, 2016

I am no Borb.

Well 2015 has come to an end. I won't lie it was pretty awful. Possibly the worst year I've spent on this earth. An unending series of failures and great losses in my life savings. Almost all the animators I know now no longer animate because theres no money in it. And what few I know who still do are either now too important to speak to a lowly dredge such as myself, or are miserable in the career paths they have chosen and wish to get out as quick as possible. And I'm going to be joining them soon.

2015 ended with an interesting surprise. The creators of Studio Yotta and Newgrounds appear to be in some sort of cahoots. One of them recently contacted me, trying to offer me a deal so I can keep making animation. I don't like and certainly don't trust either of them anymore, which should be obvious to anyone who talks to me on a regular basis. That said, assuming I can't find work soon, I'm going to be unable to tell either of these two NO when the time comes to give them a definite answer.

But it's just been a terrible year in general. The only freelance I've gotten in the last few months is because my friend Avid Lebon cares enough about me to pretend she needs me on some projects that she could easily do entirely herself. She is a lifesaver, in many ways. And Lord knows she needs the money as badly as I do. Sadly I've been having to animate with a mouse again, due to my animation laptop finally refusing to work the way it should. I've animated the last 2 films I've done for Weebl entirely with a mouse. It has been agonizing but I've managed.

My father's pet parrot, an African Grey named Rosa, has fallen ill. With what I don't know for certain. One day she was fine, the next she was slumped over, and refused to use one of her legs for anything, preferring to stand perfectly still on one corner of her cage on only one foot. Rosa is older than I am. She is roughly 31 or 32 years of age, pretty old for a parrot. I've known her my entire life. To say her condition has been concerning me would be a vast understatement. This bird has been like a sibling to me. My father took her to the vet who claims that Rosa has arthritis. I find it odd that arthritis would suddenly pop up out of nowhere like this.

Simultaneously, searching for parrot foot problems on the internet brings up some absolutely horrific tales of parrot violence, parrot death, and wrongful veterinarians. Including a lovely story about a poor young lady who was informed her pet cockatiel merely had some gout on his foot. Three days after this the bird keeled over, never to rise again. I won't lie, these stories have been bouncing around my head, adding even more to the oppressive atmosphere of thoughts as this year comes to a close.

As this year hops into the shallow grave it belongs in, I have made in total roughly a sum of 1500 dollars. For an entire year. Most which has gone to paying loans and living expenses. Things are bad. Things have never been worse. I have applied at every place available to me both offline and online, desperately scraping for anything. My gmail address book has over 3000 entries that start with 'jobs@' on them. Nothing has turned up. Nothing has worked.

Why I was even informed charging a mere 50 dollars for a completed piece of fully painted art was TOO MUCH. And I was told this by a professional large company that sell products all over the world in highbrow liquor stores. Meanwhile every time I walk into Walmart and I see that poster. That Minecraft poster I made for Notch and the rest of the Mojang crew. What a fool I was. That poster is sold in every Walmart in the USA. It has adorned shirts, walls, even several Xbox cases. I have never seen a dime of that. Which is fine, I got roughly 500 for it when I made it for Mojang, some 4 or so years ago. But I was a fool. I should have asked for a percent. I should have found a way to advertise my website on it. I should have done something, ANYTHING, to make sure when people look at that piece, they know who its from.

But nobody does. Worst of all, after completing the piece the developers seemed to like it so much, they even said they'd get back to me, possibly wanting more pieces. And they never did. In fact instead they hired other artists to produce work in a similar vein to it.

I am a stupid, stupid man. I have fucked up every opportunity to succeed I have been given. I have spent my entire career allowing people to take advantage of my brief moments of trust and optimism. And now I have nothing to show for it. A demo reel that has never convinced a soul to hire me, and a portfolio that has impressed no one. And truly no year has proven this with more compounded ability than that of 2015. For some time my checking account has -723 dollars in it. Yes that is negative. That is not accounting for the student loans I have yet to pay. That is what working hard earns you. That is what art college earns you. That is what animation earns you. Looks of scorn from bank employees and letters from the government. Waiting for holidays in the hopes of undoing the damage with gifts of money given by family members.

2015, yes indeed, the year my luck finally ran out. The year that everything I built and worked for finally toppled over. There's a kind of majesty in the failure of it all. In the things I've had to do lately to wrench myself out of this debt.

And now I start 2016, fresh and anew and ready to indulge in more horrors. Ready to give even more of my time to Newgrounds and Yotta, places that have more faces than a shapeshifter. Places that have removed me and are now here again, offering me things I want, long long after I needed those things. Long long after I already paid dearly for not having those things, those people, around when I needed them.

The damage long done, now I sit wondering just how much worse can 2016 actually be? Can it be worse? I lost everything but my life in 2015. My passion, my savings, my equipment, and even my heroes are struggling to make it. People who should have the online world in the palm of their hands, struggling to make ends meet. This rickety boat made of time and work finally shuddering under the combined weight of failures and sinking into the turgid depths of 2015. How much deeper can this sea go? Outside of dying I don't think anything worse could really happen for 2016. But perhaps that opportunity will come regardless.

Whatever fates or deities control this cosmos, if such things are real, are clearly not through yet. We have another year of hell to muscle through. Another year of apathy, poverty, murder and death that we as a proud nation can gleefully slough into as we continue to tell ourselves in hushed tones "things will get better. as long as i work hard and believe in myself, things will get better!" as our worlds collapse around us and we are forgotten by the very people we trust and put our faiths in and continue to spew false positive horseshit to ourselves so we can pretend to have something to look forward to.

Left to rot until we're needed. Discarded until its convenient to be on beck and call again. Like toilet paper. And animation is the dribbling shit. And the internet is the pale butt. I'm ready to get wiping for 2016.

You know I think it's possible there may still be some people out there who discover my work. Ones who aren't tracking bots anyway. And maybe a few of them have felt inspired by my work to join this industry and carve their own happy little niche, smugly hoping the world will appreciate it if they sweat and toil enough.

It won't. I am telling you this now. If you somehow happened across this blog, hoping to be inspired by a wretched internet animator, then hear me now and TAKE HEED. Get out of this business. There is no money to be made here. There is no future in this. A very small lucky few make it and the rest are trashed, and forgotten. Don't make my mistake. Don't think this will be a stepping stone to a brighter or better future eventually. That is a lie those with money will tell you to keep you making stuff and not being rewarded for it. You enter this world and chances are you are going to wind up just like me. Here forever until you finally work up the balls to end it and walk away and never return.

There's nothing rewarding to be found here. There's nothing good. There's almost no good people and there's very nearly no good companies. Nobody needs you. Nobody wants you or your services. It does not matter what skill level you operate at. It does not matter what software you know. All that matters is that by some astronomical gamble you happened to be at the right place at the right time. Is that a bet you are willing to take? Is that a chance you really want to fuck around with? If so then yes, freelance art, animation, and graphic design on the internet will be perfect for you.

Enjoy it, chump. And have a very happy 2016.

Friday, October 30, 2015

worming their way into the black matter of my brain

It's all hollow's eve and the moon is bare.
Walk through the cemetary if you dare.
Where skeletons rot and corpses fester.
Locate the tomb with the skull of a jester.
Feed him a token.
All shiny and new.
It is then that Carnevil will return for you.

- A long dead studio


Well I am here again for my favorite holiday.
Since my last post I managed to fuck up a possible employment opportunity at a local shop that wanted me to design shirts, and I managed to fuck up a possible employment opportunity at Everi Gaming, a massive company that make all sorts of interactive software and casino games.

I even managed to get a brief phone interview with the 2nd one. But as per usual I found some glorious way to shit it all into the toilet and I will probably never hear from them again. First studio that's actually contacted me back in at least a year.

But hey at least I finished this Deadpool cartoon for Weebl and #Mashed. And I even finished it on the day it was due!
I don't know when it's going online. So that's at least one small positive note from the grand concerto of deterioration that has become my life.


Now this blog post isnt just about my botched attempts at getting out of this great void of debt and misery I find myself in, no no. We had quite enough of that two posts ago.

No readers, this is my favorite time of year. Halloween!
Why? Because its monster-themed!
And you don't have to spend money to buy gifts for people! You just run around in a costume and act like a jackass and sometimes get free candy! Can you imagine a more perfect holiday? That's a rhetorical question of course you cant. It does not exist.

So in celebration of Halloween I'm going to talk about what I personally think is the perfect group of movies to truly horrify and sicken you this on this Hallowed Eve. Note: Some of these films are incredibly difficult to find. Don't feel discouraged, some of them I came across entirely by accident.

Guinea Pig - There's a few of these films. Find the first one. Maybe the second one. The incredibly realistic and gruesome exploits of a serial killer who slowly cuts his victims apart, piece by piece. How bad is it? People thought the films were real and the government had to get involved. Not for those with weak stomachs. MANY people thought this was a legitimate snuff film.

The Thing - Carpenter's masterpiece ensemble about a bunch of workers in the frozen north who discover that a dog they took in is actually a grotesque shape-shifting alien in disguise. Inbetween the masterful puppetry and body horror, is an incredibly tense and brilliant story about people going stir crazy and paranoid as they are killed off one by one. This is one of those films that will never age because of just how damn good it is.

Lake Mungo - This relatively forgotten horror film is almost devoid of violence and entirely devoid of jump-scares or pop-out skeletons. Set up like a documentary, it chronicles a family grieving over the loss of their daughter and the scandals and hauntings that take place afterwards. It starts as a horror, becomes a mystery film, and then becomes a horror again. Every performance in the film is remarkable and it will leave you feeling cold and sad and afraid to go to Australia. If the bit with the cel phone doesn't make you near shit your pants, then you got a problem buddy.

Sunshine - So if you wake up one morning, and it's a particularly beautiful day, you'll know we made it. Amazing film about a crew of astronauts on a mission to dump a chemical payload on the earth's sun which is currently dying out and freezing the planet. Along the way they find the ship that was sent to do the same job 6 years prior. And that's where things get terrifying. Truly an amazing scifi flick with a good dose of horror to give one the heebies and the jeebies.

Nekromantik - A man falls in love with a corpse. Enough said really. Find it and give it a go. Much like Guinea Pig this is not a film for those with weak stomachs.

Perfect Blue - A rare treat! An animated horror film! From the late genius Satoshi Kon, this film is about a famous music popstar in japan who turns to acting. Her first roles are gritty lewd things that depress her and make her start to lose fans and faith in herself. Then she discovers she's being watched and manipulated by a stalker. Everything starts to snowball from there.

Cemetary Man / Dellamorte Dellamore - A gravekeeper and his friend have the amusingly boring job of killing and re-burying all the zombies that rise from the grave in their little town every night. Eventually the gravekeeper's friend falls in love with the zombie of the recently deceased mayor's daughter. Then he keeps her head in a box. Things only get zanier from there. A horror film with a good dose of comedy and even a bit of bizarre eroticism.

Alice - Jan Svankmajer's insane live action / stop motion animation mixed media film. I'm not sure what to write here. Me and a friend rented this film once when were employed at Blockbuster Video. Like a lot of things Jan has made, it is rather horrifying and disturbing. A strange strange retelling of Alice in Wonderland.

Evil Dead - The original and the very recent sequel/pseudo-remake are both excellent horror films with a nice dose of dark comedy to them that makes them very re-watchable. The newest one is also almost indescribably violent and action packed. Great for a halloween viewing. And hey, Bruce Campbell is gonna be in a tv show sequel to it soon too! I'm so sad Burn Notice is over.

True Detective - Not a movie, but a tv show. Season 1 of true detective mixes melancholy cynicism with a great dose of horror and fantastic storytelling. The redemption of Rust is one of those things you'll never forget. Manages to be very unnerving with just the atmosphere and direction. Season 2 focuses on different characters and mostly a depressing journey into a fictional California city. Season 1 is the one that will give you chills down your spine.

Brazil - What can be said about this film that others haven't already said? A fantastic dark comedy from brilliant madman genius god Terry "I Eat Money Literally" Gilliam. What starts as a somewhat funny but distressing comedy of errors in an overtly complex and grotesque future with superhero repairmen and bizarre machinery turns into horror and terror pretty quick once things fall apart. A masterpiece of filmmaking. If you enjoy this I highly recommend the Adventures of Baron Muncchausen.

Suspect 0 - Aaron Eckhart and Ben Kingsley as psychic detectives who track down dangerous serial killers. Probably one of Kingsley's best and most underrated performances. A terrifying film from a one-hit-wonder director. Forgotten by the passage of time.

Jacob's Ladder - I've mentioned this film a few times and my love for it. It's terrifying, it's brilliant, it's a masterpiece. A man whose life keeps intersplicing from before and after the vietnam war, as strange demonic people try to kill him and his former war buddies. A film you won't ever forget. Also has odd cameos including Rage Cage from Tenacious D, Jason Alexander, and Lewis Black. What a cast! Probably the most insane climax of any horror film.

Bone Tomahawk - This movie literally just came out a few weeks ago. Kurt Russel stars as a sheriff in the old west who goes to rescue the wife of one of the townsfolk who has been kidnapped by savages. What starts as a tense western drama becomes a slow burn into horror as the natives begin to reveal themselves and show just how savage they truly are. Things escalate quickly. Another film not for the weak of stomach.

The Babadook - Alot of people recommend this film. And they are right to do so. A fun horror flick with just enough scary shit thats well filmed enough to make you feel spooked. Also co-stars the most annoying child ever filmed in the history of movies. When me and mike watched this film, the power went off during the climax of one of the scariest parts of the film. I have never been so quiet in my life.

Stay - a forgotten film from the early 2000's, this film stars Ewan McGregor as a psychiatrist who has to stop a young artist from comitting suicide. Because if this artist dies, reality will end. Things just get weirder and creepier from there. Probably one of the prettiest soundtracks a horror film has ever had.

The Fly / Videodrome / Naked Lunch - look I have nothing constructive to write here. Just see all of Cronenberg's films. If you don't you are a plebeian. The end.

Coraline - An animated horror film that manages to be incredibly frightening while remaining PG. A masterpiece by Neil Gaiman and Henry Selick. Perfect stop motion animation mixed with a harrowing story and unnerving visuals as the other world starts to fall apart.

Fire In the Sky - gave me nightmares as a child. gave me more nightmares as an adult. One of the few alien abduction films that is actually scary.

The Orphanage - A movie about a woman taking care of an orphanage that is haunted by the ghosts of the children that used to abide there. Then her son disappears. Manages to be incredibly disturbing without hardly any special effects or violence.

The Tall Man - I originally thought this was going to be a horror film based on Slenderman, a cool internet monster that was ruined by reddit, facebook, youtube, and 9gag into a joke little kids tell each other. As it turns out its nothing of the sort. It's about kidnappings and absolutely bonkers mclonkers mystery adventure stuff with a very heartbreaking ending that will leave you speechless and probably very conflicted.

And there you friggin' go, m8.
A bevy of horror for your watching pleasure this Hallows Eve.


In far scarier news, those of you who have read this blog for a long time (all 0 of you!) might recall years ago when I discovered the top search term for my blog was the terms OILY ASS.

Years later OILY ASS was replaced with Minecraft Hentai. Because apparently some 11 year olds actually ARE that sad and pathetic.

Well I decided to take a look again.
I only got 73 views on this blog in the last month. If that isn't a fantastic visual indicator of how dead my career and future is I don't know what else could do the job.

But regardless, the most searched for term for people finding this blog this month is:

Yes folks you read that right.

Anime Dogs Sucking Their Own Dick.
From slick anuses to cube smut I have officially hit rock bottom. Furries and self-fellatio. What a time to be alive.


In happier news, with the Deadpool cartoon in the can I was able to finish a new art piece. And it's probably not what you expect:
I reskinned a spaceship in a video game! Wow!!!!!
This was a hell of a lot of work and despite being popular, most likely wont get chosen to be in the game anyway because literally nothing I produce or touch anymore does not end in catastrophic fucking failure! That said I am very proud of how this ship came out. I'd had the idea in my head for a long time of making a koinobori themed skin, and waited for the day the developers did some sort of contest to make skins for it.

And it finally happened, I got to make it, and it came out almost exactly like how I envisioned it in my head! Not too shabby for an art project.

For those that really like it, and play Warframe, you can vote on this design here:

So far it has 800 negative votes and only 700 positive votes!!
Truly another good visual indicator of just how terrible everything I make anymore is.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

One last midnight. Brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.

Mike was bored the other day and painted some little wooden hearts he found.
I liked them enough to take a photo.
Speaking of Mike, I designed a label for his Vape flavor company that he is slowly getting off the ground.
I spent money I dont have and went to the Curry Festival in St.Pete a few days ago.
Took some photos while I was there.
My japanese friend sent me this Venomancer figurine from Ti5.
In equally happy news Venomancer got buffed and might actually be objectively good now.
I saw this horrible dog at the mall.
I'm starting to receive music from my friend Shads for my short film "DECOUPLING".

So hooray for that.