The blog of a person....yeah that sounds good.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

my yellow friend is to take the sting off

So as of late, the late night eyes of television around here have been confetti'd with all these enigmatic commercials of what appear to be live bits of footage with some amusing cgi animations of ancient and legendary monsters edited in. Followed by a quick link to a cryptids are real site.
Later on, more commercials appeared featuring similar video clips with someone named V.V.Argost discussing cryptids (look up cryptozoology), and talking about something called Weird World. So I've been pretty interested. I like cryptozoology, urban legends, and paranormal shit. I mean hell, look at the links on the side of my blog.

So I assumed that this was some sort of amusing science fiction show like "ripley's believe it or not" or "walking with dinosaurs"
Something that'd play on Discovery Channel late at night, being very hokey and amusing. Like how National Geographic had a show about two brothers who researched world's most disturbing insects.

After watching a new episode of The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, the cryptids commercial started....and then

then I was met with this


I'll assume it was just a bad commercial, but the ad Cartoon Network is showing features the kid in the middle saying like 4 obnoxious catchphrases. He seems to act like the YOUNG Ben10 but even more of a dick.

But once again, that might just be poor advertising. Flapjack had some terrible commercials, but Flapjack has turned out to be a wonderful dose of dark comedy on the network, and its made by the same guy who made "The Naive Man of Lolliland" which is one of my most favorite short films.

Yesterday as I left my place to go to work, I saw a large pale yellow grayish orb above my head on a wooden rafter. I assumed it was a wasp nest and cautiously navigated underneath it. I came to realize, as some very long dark red forelegs stretched into view, that it wasn't a nest, but an ENORMOUS spider with a white abdomen about twice as fat as a grape.
6 short stubby red legs, and the two front legs that complete the 8, were extra long, and were suddenly waving menacingly as I approached, as though the spider were about to launch itself at my face at any moment.
So I backed off.
Alot of people seem to think its a brown widow. But its not. I've been stuck in a patio literally covered in brown widows. They dont grow this large or this white. Florida has a wide variety of spiders. Alot of them are quite harmless.
Originally, due to its HUEG front two legs I figured it was crab spider but I've been researching the hell out of it, and can't find jack. So clearly I need to capture it.

It has to be a mutant brown widow. Thats the only explanation. Something has caused a brown widow to grow 3 times the size it should be.
Could be worse. Could've been a brown recluse.

Anyone who reads this blog regularly (all three of you) knows that I have bug problems. So adding a spider to the roster is no biggie.

As of late the cockroaches in my car have been causing some grotesque and hilarious follies for myself. For example but a few days ago Mike (who is enjoying his new job at Lowry Park Zoo teaching rowdy kids about animals) came hiking to my place with Raphael.
They both know of my roach problem, but still wanted to bum a ride off me to drive them home. I forwarned them again that roaches are in my car, and they are not shy.
But they wanted the ride anyway. So Mike and Raphael gingerly get into the vehicle. Raphael in the back right seat, and Mike in the passenger side seat. Now, due to all the times my car has been hit by people, and totaled by my brother, the doors that are not the drivers side door dont open easily.
So, within a minute or so of driving, a roach crawls onto the back of Mike's head. Raphael sees it. FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK he shouts and proceeds to lean back with his head against the left back door and uses his legs to kick the roach, also kicking Mike in the head. So as Mike whirls wildly in his seat flailing, Raphael continues his endless stream of FUCK SHIT FUCK ASS kicking his legs out mercilessly at Mike and the roach which by that point had long since abandoned Mike's head and disappeared into the dark.
During all this, I'm laughing my ass clean off and swerving all over the road.
They finally get the door open as I skid to a stop and they tumble onto the street.

Needless to say they decided to walk home.

But the bug follies didnt end there.
I couldnt sleep, so I turned on T.V. and proceeded to watch Chowder, when I notice something dark and fuzzy in the corner of my eye. I assumed it was a insect flying around in the dark side of the room. Within moments I came to realize it was fuzzy because it was so close. A small brown spider (hopefully not a recluse) was lowering itself from my ceiling fan's cord onto my chest. So, like a snake, I wriggled off the bed to the floor and smashed it with a paper towel....

...and as I smashed the thing, I felt a moist sticky something hit my foot as my toes were under the bed. I yanked my foot out and danced around to find A DEAD BLOATED SLUG had somehow gotten inside, crawled under my bed, and was proceeding to balloon due to a lack of water.

It seems my friend Mentally Detached is not dead. As during the last days of July, he placed a few new metal songs on Newgrounds. Maybe he's on tour with that band he's a part of. I dont know.

Either way,

work continues on Polypeptide.

And a more detailed drawing of one of the characters.

In my mind he's some sort of satyr priest, but he doesnt do much in the cartoon but panic.

The other night, Nathaniel Milburne of had a bit of an art jam where everyone was drawing and sketching pictures of skulls.
This one was mine:

I have today through sunday off work. I am planning on getting as much done as possible.

And on a final note, if you wish to see some of the more unique horrifying creatures of nature, do a google image search for SEA SPIDER. Enjoy.

mike found a video on youtube of a chap who was dressed as sweeny todd at metrocon. the chap talked to mike on video for a while and put it on youtube.
and remember when i said i was hanging behind mike, to keep his stuff safe? well here's proof
for i, too, am in the video, for but a split second

1 comment:

Spencer said...