The blog of a person....yeah that sounds good.

Friday, August 20, 2010

iT's A mIrAcLe

Pretty much each time me and my buddies/bros/chums hang out we have a series of activities we engage in. Sometimes we skip rocks, sometimes we demolish cars in dumps, sometimes we leap off cliffs and parachute to the ground below. Usual crap. Totally not made up or fictional.
However a constant of each hangout session is that we usually engage on a grand quest to get a late night meal to fill our empty bellies. We have deemed this with an elegant term that we pretty much stole off Invader Zim.

We call it: THE FOODENING. past tense: Foodened. Future tense: Fooden. To Fooden. I Fooden, you Fooden, he she me Fooden.
Foodening. verb

Foodenings used to usually consist of 2-4 of us scuttling through sewage to Wal-Mart like horrid humanoid mudcrabs at 1-3 am. We'd enter, purchase and purloin food items we needed, then haul the load to Mike's house and prepare a dish.
We experimented and learned to cook many things:
deluxe nachos.
homemade soup
moog pizzas.
spaghettis of various varieties.

However as people moved to new areas and time marched on, uncaring of the stress it lavishly poured boiling on our faces, foodenings took on a more broad meaning. Soon, Foodenings became any restaurant we visited during the twilight hours of the night. The term "foodening spot" became part of our rich vocabulary when it became time to decide where to dine.

Our Foodening spots are limited to about 5 regular places that stay open 24 hours a day.

However, in the last week or so, we've been trying to catch up on all the terrible TERRIBLE but GREAT films by THE ASYLUM. Which has required us to be home. And has also required us to Fooden in an efficient way again.

And from all these conflicts was birthed an idea within Mike's mind. An idea to combine any and all swine with the best thing to come from Greece: Pizza.

The Swine Pizza plan was born. Whilst I prepared a margherita pizza with Raphael, in the other room Mike was busy piling every pork related product he could on top of a crust, creating this....this.....ABOMINATION.


Into the oven it went spending a vast majority of time slowly cooking. Eons passed and the world spun and the flames of the oven grew hotter and hotter until finally: DING. DONG DING. HOT A WHAT BHAABHIAT.


It schlooped out of the oven and into our mouths. I could feel my aorta slowly shutting itself with each bite.

It tasted OK. The pizza I had made tasted alot better.

You know what's a really bad horror movie? THEY from back in 2002.
You know what's a really bad horror movie with some brilliant special effects and great monster designs? THEY from back in 2002.

You know what's a really bad horror movie with some brilliant special effects and great monster designs that is impossible to find any pictures of probably because the awfulness of the film shamed the special effects studio into nonexistence?

THEY from back in 2002.

There's worse films. And THEY does a good job of building up to the scary things. But it falls apart halfway through. Regardless, the demons of the film that only emerge at night are grotesque beasts that move and writhe in unnatural ways.
Sadly I cant find a picture or even a decent article about what they looked like or who made them or anything.

I did find a piece of old concept art however:

This is apparently all that exists and remains of whatever amazing things some unknown art team pulled together to make the wonderful monsters for this mediocre film.

Speakin of monsters and art, I made a snork from S.T.A.L.K.E.R. in minecraft last night. Why? Because I can. Yuuka's server is a nice place.


I've been pondering lately about scanning my Dustbunny comics and putting them online as a webcomic. Mainly because they have a better chance of being read. If I simply publish them in a book (which no publisher would ever do) no-one is going to see them or read them or give a crap. Not that anyone will online either for that matter, but at least I have a better chance.

They are pretty OK comics.

Better than alot of webcomics. Which isn't saying much, as most webcomics online these days are like some unholy retarded stepchild of a box of crayola crayons clenched angrily in a wookie's fist and a blind oxe bucking in a bad joke shop.

In short: it doesn't take alot to be in the top 20% or so of webcomics online these days. It's a sad fact.

The good part however is that the GOOD webcomics out there are obscenely good. Not everyone can be the next Nedroid or Homestuck or Axe-Cop or whatever. But that stuffs the cream of the crop. You don't need to be homing in on KC Green's turf or anything insane.

But, you can make something decent, congrats, you are near the top of the webcomic heap regardless.

Because even a quick jig around the stage that is the online webcomic world reveals the stage to be a mossy rock and the audience to be a gaggle of blind fish sucking angrily on the rock in an effort to get to it's delicious rock milk, unaware rock's dont produce any and lack the teats to relinquish it regardless.

Basically 80% or more of webcomics are bad. And not even funny/bad in a way where you can laugh at just how inept and ego-fueled they are in their pathetic attempts at being entertaining. Bad in that the only things you get from reading them is a sickening feeling of "I could make something better than that" and the realization you wasted precious time that could have been spent doing other nonconstructive bullcrap online.

I mean really think. How many GOOD webcomics do YOU, the reader, know of compared to all the BAD ones you've seen in various message boards making up people's forum signatures or adorning their unkempt myspace pages?

So, even though the Dustbunny comics are not really too good especially when compared to most modern, good, graphic novels. They are, by comparison 'pretty good for the internet' in terms of quality standards.

Plus the internet has a pretty much infinite audience at this point.

However, this would mean setting up another website for my dustbunny things to be hosted on. Which would require server space, templates, etc etc. Things I am not looking forward to. I'm not going back to DrunkDuck. Hells naw. Keenspace I'm not exactly hot on either. But if desperation calls, and they answer, I'll make the best of it.

I could always set up a second blog for the things, but that'd probably be horribly inefficient. Or maybe not.

Last time I started up a second blog was MONTHS ago when I was determined to draw each pokemon. Guess how long THAT lasted? It's still up too. Try to find it. Be amused at it's spectacular failure!


Today's post ends with the ceremonial burning of the angry bird.

Let us revere in our blessings that we are not as angry as the bird. And that we are not on fire like the bird.



addenum: go see scott pilgrim its great

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you should submit those swine pizza pictures to