The blog of a person....yeah that sounds good.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Wow look a pie-chart! Digital Style!

Virtually real! But controlled by real you!

Okay so I've been a BUSY MAN.

Not alot to talk about so lets just start with the good stuff.
For starters I have a new DEMO REEL OUT.
Yes that's right. My 5 year old demo reel is now Defunct. Decrepit. Despondent. Dead.
It shall never be mentioned again, so help me god.
HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!


It makes it look like I know what I'm doing!
Fun Fact: Sony Vegas could NOT edit or render these clips for reasons unknown. Meaning I had to learn an entirely new piece of software. Adobe Premier.
And wow Premier is so much better than Vegas I feel like an idiot that I never used it before.
I've been like a caveman banging rocks together using the pile of crap that is Sony Vegas. Never again, Sony. Never again.

And now with this new reel out I can send it off to various studios and whatnot and pray they have standards low enough to give me a chance. (they dont!)

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!

I completely redesigned my website:

HTTP://WEIRDURL.COM
Yes!
Go check it out!
It's been entirely redesigned from the ground up!

And you may be thinking "but zekey, you never do any actual work! why would you redesign an entire website from the ground up?"

Well you see curious onlooker, I somehow, in my infinite omniscience, managed to lose the .FLA flash file that had my original website in it. I'm not quite sure HOW considering I never ever ever delete anything. But it happened.
Meaning when my new Demo Reel went up, I was unable to change the link on the site to the NEW demo reel! AINT THAT JUST THE FUNNIEST THING? >:C >:C >:C
So yeah I had to make a whole new site. Didn't wanna but I did.
 And I decided that as long as I'm doing it, I might as well make it a REAL site this time with several pages and buttons and sounds and interactive crap.

So there you go!
I hope the 6-20 google bots that read this blog enjoy those!
And I hope the small handful of dumbasses on the internet who apparently wind up on this blog when they search for 'minecraft hentai' enjoy those links as well. I'm sure they are far more interesting than a creeper with a poorly drawn vagina stuck onto it!


Speaking of videogames, Killing Floor 2 was giving out keys.
And despite being one of my favorite games I have failed to attain a key. My friend Bug did but because he uses a 32 bit operating system, the game doesn't run. So the key was wasted!
I drew a fleshpound in mspaint and sent it to the developers at Tripwire Interactive, hoping they would send me a key back if I begged! IT DIDN'T WORK!!
So yeah that happened. Everyone is playing but me. Can't even play the new sequel to my 2nd most favorite game. :C

And finally one last interesting thing that happened.
The other night me, Mike, and his ladyfriend Rachel were all sitting around about to watch Captain America when she goes into the kitchen to get a donut. Suddenly with the kind of agility usually reserved for people with the last name Baryshnikov, she flees from the kitchen screaming bloody murder and breaking down in hysterics. She cries there is a massive spider in the kitchen that leaped out of the donut box at her.

Which is no stretch of the imagination. Anyone who lives in Florida knows this place is swarming with absolutely massive insects. Wasps the size of your thumb, grasshoppers the size of your aunt, spiders the size of your cat. So me and Mike creep our way into the kitchen, peeking around corners and in drawers and in the sink etc. We start pulling everything out of the kitchen. We can't find shit. We both assume it's a Wolf Spider because wolf spiders in Florida get pretty big. They are like little tarantulas.

Well I start advising Mike to spray bug spray in all the cracks between drawers and furnishings in the kitchen, assuming the spider was a wolf spider that easily snuck into a crevice somewhere. As I do this, I get down on my hands and knees to take a look  under the dishwasher.

And that's when I see it.
 It's a motherfuckin' HUNTSMAN SPIDER.
I thought these things only lived in Australia. Or the Congo. Or Carcosa.
NOPE. Apparently they live in Florida too! HOORAY! As if we don't have enough horrific shit here! So anyway I hold completely still looking at this massive lobster-sized arachnid abomination and call for Mike to bring me my shoe. For those who don't know me, I wear size 16 shoes. My feet don't play around, and neither do my goddamn boots.
I spray the bastard with wasp spray but that only makes it enraged.
It unleashes a squeal, like a baby piglet being stabbed, and makes a sloppy dash across the kitchen, soaking in chemicals. With the kind of hatred I normally only reserve for myself, I struck it with my footwear, it took several CLOMPS to defeat it, and even then all it lost were two legs. It was like trying to smash a sack of marbles.

After that I stared at it, fascinated by how horrible and pretty it was. Then flushed it down the toilet.
And that was that.

The End!

If you are a fan of my work (all 3 of you out there) please link people to my new site! I'm very pleased with it!
And now that my story has been told, I'm off to do other things!
 

2 comments:

LordRayken said...

Do you still know bigarmybug?

I really would like to talk to him.

Donovan Moore said...

Great job on the demo reel and website Zekey!