The blog of a person....yeah that sounds good.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I've always liked you Byron, but even bad men love their mommas.

Florida Wildlife Part 1

Today I shall be discussing the Florida Roof Rat.
Anyone who lives in florida and lives in moderately priced middle to low-class housing has had roof rats. Even if you cant hear them. They are there. Their fat little bodies heaving as they gorge on dust in the attics of homes across this freaking state.

But what is a roof rat? Exactly what it sounds like. They are rats that live in your roof. Around fall or winter when the weather gets cold, these little fellows crawl into the shoddily built roofs of florida and make the attic their own personal apartment. Destroying boxes, eating photos, pooping on every available flat surface. Yes these guys are destructive.

But thats not why we hate them, no. No we hate them because they torture us. Late late at night as we sleep....we hear them. Scratching sliding and the occasional thud, scarcely echoing throughout the house. You can tell when it's right above you, you can tell when it's in the next room. Sometimes its subtle, a quiet click in the dead of night, letting you know that it's there. Other times, it digs, trying to burrow it's way through the ceiling to get to the warmth and free food is has been walled off from.
But it never can when convenient, no. It waits silently for when you are in the kitchen or on the toilet for when it can peek out its wee little head. Ready to announce itself for all to see. Whether through a grate in the air conditioning or behind the fridge, he will stare triumphantly at you as if to say "This is my house now."
And by all accounts it is.

I hate these freaking rats.
I need to find my crowbar in case I come across them in person again.


Matthew said...

The fact that you have a crowbar scares the shit out of me.

citricsquid said...

I love you, Zekey!

David said...

I read the description of the rats at the same time as the player was playing Soundtrack 1. That makes it much creepier...

Sparkpro said...

Crowbar eh? We just use poison.
The only thing is between the time of its eating the poison and death, the thing realizes its fate and makes its way to the one place where you will never find it.
This forces you to endure the stench of its rotting carcass in a nice fuck you fashion from the rat.
Luckily the rats here just hang out in the garage none of the stuff you described.

Thor said...

You've been nominated for a tournament. y/n?

SEO Expert said...

computer repair NYC service New york city - Computer repair in NYC, Computer repair in NY, Computer repair in New York City, Computer repair in New York, Slow computer repair NYC, Slow computer repair NY, Slow computer repair New York City, Slow Computer repair New York, Computer service in NYC, Computer service in NY, Computer service in New York City, Computer service in New York, Computer consulting Services in NYC, Computer consulting Services in NY, Computer consulting Services in New York City, Computer consulting Services in New York, Computer Networks NYC, Computer Networks NY, Computer Networks New York City, Computer Networks New York, Computer NYC, Computer NY, Computer New York City, Computer New York, Computer Viruses NYC, Computer Viruses NY, Computer Viruses New York City, Computer Viruses New York,
Computers consulting and repair in NYC, Computer consulting and repair in NY, Computer consulting and repair in New York City, Computer consulting and repair in
New York, Computer Security NYC, Computer Security NY, Computer Security New York City, Computer Security New York, Network Security NYC, Network Security NY, Network Security New York City, Network Security New York.

web design New York, web design Philadelphia - web design New York, web design Philadelphia, web design New York, web design Philadelphia, web design New York, web design Philadelphia, web design New York, web design Philadelphia, web design New York, web design Philadelphia

Web design India and web designer India - Professional web site designer. Go for Custom web site design at affordable price and
Be unique. Leading web site company in India. Seo services.

Anonymous said...

Seo expert your post brought tears to my eyes, what elegant words...