Just think of all the trouble we could have saved ourselves if we just threw fruit at him in the first place!

OH BOY OH OOOOHHHH BOOOYYY!!!

Hey there guys! It's a me! Gullible Gary, and it appears I should soon be swimming in the dough! DOUGH DOUGH DOUGH. So much dough. I am going to fill my pool with cold and my house with sexy latina coeds!

For you see, I have won the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY!
Yes it's true! I didn't enter the lottery, nor do I live in the UK but by god, they sent me an email today that says I DONE WON DA LOTTERY!
I feel like the prettiest girl at the pumpkin festival ball!

Dont believe me? WELL HERE CHECK IT OUT:


WINNING NOTIFICATION
We happily announce to you the draw (#1071)
of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,
online Sweepstakes International program held
on Wednesdays 9th January
2008. Your e-mail address attached to ticket
number: 56475600545188
with Serial number 5368/02 drew the lucky
numbers: 02 06 18 36 37 44
19 (Bonus ball) which subsequently won you the
lottery in the 1st
category i.e match 6 plus bonus . You have
therefore been approved to
claim a total sum of £2,696,385 (Two Million Six
Hundred and Ninety
SixThousand,Three Hundred and Eighty Five
Britain pounds sterlings) in
cash credited to file XYL/26510460037/05

This is from a total cash prize of £7,596,411
(Seven Million, Five
Hundred And Ninety Six Thousand, Four
Hundred And Eleven Pounds
Sterling) shared amongst the Three (3) lucky
winners in this category
i.e match 6 plus bonus. All participants for the
online version were selected
randomly from World Wide Web sites through
computer draw system and
extracted from over 100,000 unions,
associatons and co-oporate bodies
that are listed online.

This promotion takes place Twice weekly
(Wednesdays and Saturday).
Please note that your lucky winning number falls
within our European
booklet representative office in Europe as
indicated in your play
coupon. In view of this, your £2,532,720 (Two
Million, Five Hundred And Thirty
Two Thousand, Seven Hundred And Twenty
Pounds Sterling) would be
released to you by our payment office in UK.

Our Fudiciary agent will immediately commence
the process to facilitate
the release of your funds as soon as you
contact him. For security
reasons, you are advised to keep your winning
information confidential
till your claims is processed and your money
remitted to you. This is part
of our precautionary measure to avoid double
claiming and unwarranted
abuse of this program, Please be warned.

To file for your claim, please contact your
fudiciary agent immediately
via the email below. With a filled copy of the
Verification form Below.
VERIFICATION FORM

1.FULL NAMES OF BENEFICIARY:
2.RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS:
3.DATE AND PLACE OF BIRTH:
4.PHONE/FAX NUMBERS:
5.NAME AND ADDRESS OF NEXT OF KIN:
6.SEX:
7.OCCUPATION:
8.MARITAL STATUS:
9.NATIONALITY:

PAYMENT MODE: OPTIONS
1.BANK TO BANK WIRE TRANSFER.
2.CERTIFIED CHEQUE MADE OUT IN YOUR NAME
COURIERED TO YOU VIA OUR
AFFILIATE COURIER COMPANY AND WILL BE
DELIVERED TO YOUR ADDRESS.

Agents Name: Pinkett Greffin
Email: greffin_agentlottery@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: +44 7031907888


Warning!!!: Fraudulent emails are circulating
that appear to be using
National Lottery addresses, but are not from
The National Lottery.
PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO :
CUSTOMER CARE/COMPLAINTS
DEPT:uknationallotterycustomercare@national-
lottery.co.uk
Once again congratulations...

Cordially,
Rose Wood
Online Co-ordinator
U.K NATIONAL LOTTERY
Sweepstakes International Program





It doesn't get any more legit that THAT!
I MEAN HOLY SHIT
I WONT BE NEEDING THIS HERE INTERNET NO MORE!
the internet is for chumps. CHUMPS and poor people.
CHECK YOU LOSERS LATER!

(note this whole blog entry is false and I am not actually this stupid)

(also note that WAS a real email and gave me quite the guffaw)

(also also note there has been a shortage of parenthesis lately, we do not know why our supply has depleted. we are having some auditors look into it (who knows how long that'll take!) but they should be finished hopefully sometime in the near future (or not)).