Hail to Thee, Magnificent Egg Fu, for devising such a diabolical weapon

Well.

I saw the Spirit.

And by the looks of the box office numbers, me and my friends were some of the very few who did.

I recall entering the theater. And seeing a film. A film so bizarre and nonsensical, that I am still unsure as to whether I enjoyed it or not. Perhaps that was the point? Perhaps thats what Frank Miller was going for. To make a film as strange and confusing as Eraserhead. To make a film more intoxicating yet cerebrally confusing than the 5000 Fingers of Dr.T

Whether it was Samuel L Jackson melting kittens with chemicals, or throwing toilets at people, somewhere along the line, the film just....I dont even know.

Things that confused me:

- The Octopus. Most bizarre reimagining of a character ever I think. Going from a shadowy figure in the comics to an outlandish buffoon who clones brainless henchmen, dressed like a crazy person, with octopus tentacles tattooed on his eyes. Jumping from pimp in one scene, to strange samurai warrior surrounded by kanji in another scene, to nazi in another scene. All the while talking about eggs. Also he melts a kitten dressed as a nazi. He also pulls out some guns that are so hilariously huge you'd think Rob Liefeld came up with them.

- The Spirit jumping from talking in his head via film noir to suddenly directly talking to audience about the lengths he's about to go to in order to stop the Octopus.

- A foot with a man's head attached to the top, leaping around. Its a gag, but the film is so weird that by the point you get to see it you cant help but wonder if Headfoot is some sort of integral part of the film's plot.


- Plaster of Paris. A bellydancer who comes into the film, saves the Spirit, and then in a marvelously overdone fake french accent, stabs him with a machete that could cleave a horse in half, and then dances away singing a song about herself. She is never seen in the film again. And when she first appears to save the spirit, she and he exchange a bunch of french. French without subtitles even. I used to be pretty fluent in french, so I was able to figure out they used to be lovers. Other than that, no idea what the hell happened here.

- There is an old rich guy in the movie. I am not sure why he is there. Eva Longoria convinces him to blow his own brains out (while she photocopies her buttocks. yep.) He does so. And is later called a "Fence" by everyone. The word "Fence" is later used about 20 times throughout the rest of the film.

- Despite everything in the city looking like it fell out the 1920's, there seems to be modern technology popping up and looking really out of place. Including a Nokia cellphone in a rather blatant advertisement. Also giant military helicopters.


The good stuff about the film is apparent as well.

- the film is PRETTY. much like sin city, its a work of art in terms of cinematography. however, so was Speed Racer, and that was 100 times what this film was.

- Samuel L Jackson is funny. The movie is funny. And its clearly MEANT to be funny. And most of the laughs are from stuff that was meant to be funny and/or weird on purpose.

- Frank knows how to keep a film moving. The film doesnt lag at any real point. And the action scenes are exciting and stylish.

- Samuel L Jackson's henchmen in the film are great. Clones of the same guy. A large hefty bald guy with a thick accent who is dumb as toast. Pretty much anything these guys say and do was hilarious. They got killed so often too. Cannon fodder.

I could easily say, that this is one of the better films I've seen come from a first-time director, but its so OUT THERE that I really cant without a straight face.

Its like Dick Tracy after smoking a large amount of opium.

If you see it, make sure you and your friends are REALLY drunk first. And I mean DRUNK. Not quite barfing drunk, but falling-all-over-the-place drunk.

Perhaps the best way to accurately measure this film's level of insanity is to count how many times my friend Mike said WHAT THE FUCK during the film.
Mike is a man who finds the act of a schoolteacher violently beating a beaver or similar mammals to death with a blunt object to be a fine and acceptable act.

Mike said WHAT THE FUCK at least 7 times via the course of the film.

Would I see it again? Yes, if it were free.
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In other news, I have been sick. Slowly treading from "slightly soar throat" to "hoarse throat" to "mute" to "coughing up blood" to "sneezing and coughing constantly"

A constant intake of nyquil and vitamin c has not helped me in the least. Strangely though whenever I drink hot tea I feel 10 times better.
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My roachless vacation has ended.
I saw a roach tonight after I stumbled out of work in an exhausted and feverish stupor leaving twin trails of mucus and banana pepper fluid behind me from my nose and sandwich.

It was a juvenile roach. Looks really deformed. A really round and bloated and dare I say...spikey...body. I hope these things arent mutating. Last thing I need are some rhinoceros beetle sized motherfuckers all up in my car. I swerved through traffic going 50 while beating at it with a bottle of peach tea as I drove home. I dont think I hit it.
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In other news, much work has been done on polypeptide and here are some screenshots to prove I am still working on it.
click for larger views etc






huevos rancheros