The blog of a person....yeah that sounds good.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

How about a fat sandwich on fatbread, you fathead


I think my mysteriously good fortune in the last year has finally taken its expected yet unpredictable turn to 'bad luck' again.

Annoying? Yes. Depressing? meh. A bit. It was expected, after all. I can't be too upset. The cycle of "something good has happened, now terrible things will happen" was going to continue to turn whether I wished it too or not.

My headlight has gone out. Haven't had the time to take my car to a place to fix it yet.

My PC which I've spent about $1,000 dollars on does not work. Originally it cost about 890 which I could live with. Then I found I needed to get a surge protector. Afterward I needed a wireless card so that I could access the internet. Another 80 dollars. I also had to take an extension cord from the garage that wasn't mine just so that I could plug it into the wall to power the PC. So now I need to buy a replacement for that.

But the best part of all of this is that the computer doesn't work. All that money and all of Raphael's work has boiled down to nothing. It is rife with errors.

And probably the only way to fix it is to buy a new copy of Windows 7. Which will be another 100-200 dollars depending on where I get it from.

It has quickly devolved into a money sink. Like real estate, or world of warcraft.

If it's not working in a week or so I'm probably going to sell it and just buy some shitty pre-made DELL piece of shit from Best Buy or something.

On top of that, I've spent almost every night the last few nights closing with Captain Idiot at my job. I don't think I've seen a person so dense off the internet. That's how dumb she is. Why? Why would a large company hire an illiterate 70 year old person who doesn't know how to work a pc in any way to be a manager of a company that relies almost entirely on computers.
And not even good modern computers that do all the work for you. Old shit computers from 1984 that can't even run fucking DOS properly.
The bright side is, this imbecile has managed to lose the store about 2 grand in money due to misplacing a bunch of video games, WHICH IS ALOT since the company is dying anyway. So there's a moderate chance they MIGHT give her the boot and hire someone competent.

On the upside, the only person there I like, who's been on vacation for almost a month, Ben, finally came back.

Also I have 6 episodes of weebl and bob to do. The first one is due mid next-week. So I need to get started and I need TIME to do it. I already informed the new store manager (the one who hired Captain Idiot) that I cant work 5/6 days a week anymore. And of course, he gave me 5 shifts this week. AND next week. I left him a nice note.

If my actual job gets in the way of animating for weebl, then I'm quitting my day job. I work FAR too hard (wearing fancy slacks and doing basically janitorial work) for FAR too little money (minimum wage) to remain at that shithole. I can bear the place, but if the store manager thinks I'm going to devote all my time to him trying to turn me into a manager so I can work at that awful place for 30 years (like the place will live that long), then he can go suck a giraffe dick. I already do more work than him and Captain Idiot combined.

On top of that, all the regular customers are gone. They installed a machine at the local grocery store that is BY OUR COMPANY that directly competes with us. It does what we do. But cheap. And on top of that, by going to this machine, you dont have the negative aspect of being pestered to death by one of us employees who pretty much have to be the pushiest dicks in the world and basically beg you to buy a whole bunch of bullshit you don't want so this company can try and stay alive for another year or so.
But of course, the fact we have to be dicks to people, and this machine a block away, are not the real reasons people done come in the store anymore. Not according to the store manager, anyway. No the blame lies in the employees of course, and not the managers, whose experience is dwarfed by every employee still working there (all 3 of us). The managers are guiltless! They are perfect! This bad business must be the employees doing. To punish them, lets monitor their activity as if they were gerbils with sticks of eyeliner shoved up their assholes in some ass-backwards chemical treatment lab facility.

All for like 6 bucks an hour. It used to be more during the holidays. Guess what happened to that?

This is their last chance.

And it's not like I want to work at this place anymore. But it used to be a fun company to work for. Chatting with people about the entertainment industry. Now it's a rat race to see what new way we can scam people this week.

I need a day job that doesn't suck tremendously.
Something at least somewhat fulfilling. Something in my field, at least.

Every couple of months, I ravage the internet looking for jobs around here. After Disney killed its florida animation studio (just as I was getting through animation college.) pretty much everything here died.
However, there are some design and advertisement agencies around.
Quite a few surprisingly.
And every time I ravage the internet, I find a bunch more. Some have been around forever, making ads I see in local shops and tv channels and such, some are brand new. And I apply at every single one. Trying my best to sound professional and normal and not completely desperate. Sometimes I send my demo reel. Sometimes I send a link to my website (which has my demoreel on it).

And like a fart in a tornado, there is nothing.

Now I've done this many many times now. I'm fully aware, most of these places will never get my emails or calls. I'm fully aware they are probably too busy to even bother with a customary "you suck at art, please sit and spin" reply.

But I must have tried to shimmy my way into about 100-150 different graphic design / digital art / animation / digital animation / e-card / web-design / greeting cards / playing cards / poster producing / concept art studios.
And nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

Even now that I have "field experience" due to working for weebl, the basics, the history channel, still nothing.

I'm not a great artist by any stretch, but damn. Does NOONE need help? Does noone need a naive young flash animator to take advantage of? I mean, REALLY now.

Closest I've managed to come to getting any sort of studio job was a studio actually emailing me back. And an actual person sent it as well! holy crap! They said they liked my work but unfortunately were no longer in florida.


Where does this all lead to?

Obviously I want to quit my job. However as terrible as it is, it does provide at least SOME income. Enough to be able to afford an expensive hearty meal at Taco Bell anyway.

I've got a crazy idea in my head. But its craziness is directly proportional to it's stupidity as well. And inversely proportional to its success.


Do I want to open this dark door again? Kinda. I kinda do.
Why it's good:

a) it keeps me productive

b) more art is always a good thing

c) money

Why it's bad:

The reason why it's bad ties alot into how it went last time I tried this. Last time I dared to do commissions (this was very VERY long ago on deviant art. sometime in 2005 back when I was popular and people watched my cartoons and I was considered a "ok animator" by internet standards), I was hit by an unholy flood of cretins and perverts the likes of which I don't really want to encounter. Not again.
You know what feels really bad? Having people think you're a furry. You know what's worse? Those same people getting really upset when they find out you aren't. You know whats even WORSE? Those same people bothering you in groups because you won't paint them some SICK FUCKING SHIT that they can masturbate all over. And then they wonder why the world hates them...

Besides the perverts were also people who apparently don't know me in any way. Why would you ask someone who makes shit like this to make you anime? Anime fanart in the style of the show it comes from? Why would you ask someone who usually draws like this to make you hentai? or ecchi? Or all the other godawful new words for porn that you kids like to use? Why would you want me to draw you something in the style of family guy?

On top of that, most of my fanbase at that point in time were hormonal 12 year olds, due to me being on Newgrounds.


Times have changed.
I'm no longer popular and no longer affiliated with one of the deepest creative sinkholes online.
My fanbase has shrunk from thousands of dumb kids who liked me because they thought I was some sort of "INTERNET REBEL. STICKIN IT TO THE MAN" to a very small contingent of people who very occasionally writhe out of the darkness like fluffy caterpillars in a log to talk with me. In polite ways. And most of whom are actually very bright.

A definite change for the better!

For this reason (and the fact I LOATHE my day job) am I considering even MAYBE thinking about opening commissions again.

However this requires much thought.

First, am I even up to such a task. Most of my "portfolio" is comprised of fortunate accidents of art. Where by trial and lucky error, I managed to make something nice. There are about 10 deleted crap paintings for every decent one I put online.
Obviously if someone wants to pay me to paint them something, they want it to look nice. But it might come out shit. Can't have that.

Second, how much do I even charge for something as silly as this? I dont even have a bar to go by as the only person I know personally who does commissions is INCREDIBLY POPULAR online and has many beloved fans who would give him 200 bucks for a scribble of a happy face. I don't think I have those kind of fans anymore. Therein lies the dilemma.

Third, how do I even ensure proper payment occurs. Whats to stop someone from just going "hey i will give you 3 chickens and 2 goats if you draw me a boat" and then after the art is done, not giving me the livestock. On the other end of the spectrum, if they pay me in advance, whats to stop me from riding off on those same goats with chickens under each arm and never doing the project? Trust? ON THE INTERNET? I THINK NOT.


So yeah.
I dont even know what I'm doing. The 5 or 6 of you who actually read and comment occasionally feel free to leave thoughts on this matter. Or don't. That's fine too.

Now to sleep. In 3 hours I get to be verbally abused, I mean work, with Captain Idiot again.


also WHY are the latest Honey Nut Cheerios ads in cgi when the last one billion of them for the last few years have been in very well done 2d? Is this going to happen to all the Kellog's cereal mascots? Cereal commercials are like one of the very few things with real hand-drawn animation on tv anymore. Leave them be!


RobHalford said...

I think you need to look into telecommuting. You're far too talented to be turned down by these places.

Also, I know I've told you this a billion times. I get paid minimum wage too except I never work. And drive an hour into the city.

Sparkpro said...

Whenever I get some spending cash I'd be willing to ask for a commission from you for about 50-70 dollars, maybe more if you think it calls for it.

Problem is I can't seem to think of anything at the moment that isn't totally stupid or not complete waste of time for you, but that's just me.

Also the payment does seem to be a problem. Maybe you could do a half now half later type of deal but that has the same problems as the advance payment option.

And about you new computer. Maybe you should look for more outside help. There's some small computer repair shops in your area right?

MatthewT said...

I've been reading your blog for years, but haven't commented in a while. Huh. Anyway if you do figure out how to do the commission thing I'd be in for an art for ~$50-$70 or so when I get some spending money.

ZSL said...

50-70 seems like alot.
is it really worth that?

Sparkpro said...

I kinda assumed that was the going rate for this kinda thing but now that I got a chance to look around seems like there are a lot of varying prices out there.

I guess it all comes down to what you feel like what your art is worth.
If you feel like 50-70 is too much then go with it.

ZSL said...

"I guess it all comes down to what you feel like what your art is worth."

oh man that's a whole new can of worms.

Sparkpro said...

yeah well, I have no idea what goes into the creative process so don't invest too much into whatever I say.

Now that I think about it even more 50-70 does seem like a lot. Maybe 20-30 would be better. Or charge less for simple stuff like sketches and more for things that require coloring, shading and all that other stuff.

Anonymous said...

Are you allowed to tell us anything about what you did for the History Channel?? Something that'll be seen on TV, or something else?

Anonymous said...

don't wimp out, just stick with the computer parts you have

I can guarantee you that a handbuilt computer is almost always better than a premanufactured comp, provided you have the right skills and tools (or tech-savvy friends)

Willem Wynand said...

How about you have an online gallery of all your pieces, or just add them on this blog as you go.

Use paypal for payments, not sure bout live stock but they handle credit and so on.

And just put them up for maybr 50-7billion depending on what you think they are worth and after you figure out how much they sell for.

Not sure about anyone else but id like to purchase an original piece, but since you paint digitaly probably printing it and signing and writing 'no1' lol is probably the way to go about it.

Ps i like your blog, and i don't comment cause i end up feeling like some sort of stalker... anyway lol
goodluck i guess

Anonymous said...

id be more than glad to actually pay for a painting by you your stuff is amazing, i recently bought one of your shirts actually

Felix Colgrave said...

100 to 150 of those-things-you-said seems like a hell of a lot, and incredibly unfair given the standard of your work. I really have nothing helpful to suggest. 2010 is my last year before I finish pre-tertiary education and get booted out, so I'll be doing my fair share of job-hunting this year, obviously in the same fields as you. If I find anything promising I'll be sure to give you a buzz, which is really more consolation than practical help at this stage, but fuck it, I became an artist to avoid ever being practical ever.

Anonymous said...

Names Timmy Thurstwood Gruffons. That's right, THE Timmy Thurstwood Gruffons - world famous seal enthusiast and auctioneer. I am inspired by your beautiful work, but disappointed by the lack of seals in your gallery. I am willing to pay you a debt of 1000 seal-dollars for a well-made portrait that depicts something that is known as a smathering of seals. "What is a 'smathering of seals' Timmy Thurstwood Gruffons?' you may ask. Well, thang is, I don't know. That's up to you to create. It could be something as complicated as a bunch of seals smoking fancy cigarettes while dancing relentlessly to the tune of their own seal-brothers being beaten by the "club of five thousand smacks." Or it could be something as simple as rotten seal-guts. All up to you, sir.

Anthony said...

Among all this shit happening, did you have time for Polypeptide ?

Sir Thomas of Binkleshire. said...

Sir as you good friend who I have known for around a decade now I would be happy to order up some commission work form you from time to time. I have long since given up on expecting anything from you even for monies but.....

If I were to commission something from you it would most certainly be exactly the kind of thing you'd expect.

Isaac said...

I have an idea for a print that I'd like, and while $50-70 is a lot, I'd think $30 would be pretty good for a standard picture that was the usual 9x11.